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Im Siti Sulaiha Bte Kamsani.Turning a year older every 21st december. Im nonsensical, noisy, but not adorably entertaining What makes my life awesome is the great life tht shapes me i lurvee ANDIEKA ♥, my AWESOME SDFS and PC gangmates. life's more better if u colour it with blue and fill it with chocolates AWESOMELY INCREDIBLE !

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im bored angry today. hee.
anyways, school is over. yay! last three days of school, me and sab become real lesbos. hahax. spent like the whole day with her making cupcorns and becoming successful businesswoman. hahax, missing syeqal man. hahax dngn kau nye merepk tu. hahax.
today had malay dance. then i heard the band playing while walking up to the library. thought of ifnding sab but dint see her at all. haha, y the hell was i looking for her? been with her for 3 days straight. miss her i think. then had malay dance. i was happy that i remembered steps quick. wow! impressive, first time oi im like that. proud of you sulaiha!
then off to work. damn tired while working so stayed indoors most of the time doing nothing but drink rootbeer. shiokxzs! then last hour walk in and out of the restaurant. haa, no life me. then went off to lot 1 for pastamania with mum and older brother. mum wanted pastamania soo much and so i become her angel. then bought frappe for her. hee. now, im broke. damn it. mummy was sick thats why i pity her and gave what she wanted. hee. then when want to take bus, saw nabila and mufiidah. mum become a no life kid and caled out mufiidah's name. no life man. but cute la. then off home.
you, i want you to give me what you have taken from me. seriously, those words of yours really hurts but i dun really care no more. what i want is my stuff. get it? im never forgiving you this time cos you've gone really above the limit. damn, you cant mock at me all day you know. you think im a dog or what? do you like it if say vulgarities to you ALL day? think for yourself, you think you're that good a guy. damn, you should know that im never loving you anymore. you dont deserve my love and concern or even respect. you should be treat like dogs on the streets. then would you realise what you have done to others. those people whom you mock at. what a good for nothing guy are you. urgh! you're getting on my nerves. thank god i did accept you this time. hahax.

ps: will be going desaru in afew days time and rock climbing is what ive been waiting for. sorry, dont want to change the days cos i want to be with myfriends as much as i want to see you. hee. nice to be knowing you actually. you are a great entertainer and a nice person.

sometimes we do have to let go
and now i am
accepting every bit of the happenings
in my life.
not regretting.
but to feel sad is not something
that i cant do. crying makes me
lot more calmer. however i keep remembering you,
l learn to keep it only as memoirs of you and me. back to top?

jus got back frm seoul garden with 2 emerald'08. and my mum have just reached causeway. wow, i went home and she went out. feeling cos its been a day out, and i will be going to work later. freaking tired man. i wishednthat there is someone who could accompany me and make me lees tired but enjoy the day instead of complaining. can someone help me iron my uniform? please....
ate alot today at seoul garden. bought irfan cake cos we dint get to do so the last saturday. so he was kinda suprised cos he dint know when i bought the cake. haa, tepranjat tk? magic kn aku. had fun with them. and when its time to go home, people gets missing tons of times. its quite irritating cos people are everywhere. even irfan was left behind at the 3rd floor when everyone went down to the 2nd floor. haiyah...
then took 187 home with diyanah. didnt talk much cos i am freaking tired really, damn tired. dont intend to bath at all. penat la, nanti blek baru mandi. im planning to slack at work today and leave all the task to the others. haahaa. im not that mean la. joking only.

i dont want to see you. really. you are only after me for money? i dun understand why you have to lie and how long more are you going to go on. you are nothing to me anymore ok, get a life. you are not schooling what, why not work? that way you dont have to rely on girls to give you money. arent you ashame doing that?i cant stand you anymore. you are getting way to much. just freaking hell, get away from me. back to top?

sometimes its just difficult to predict what's going to happen. i had this dream that you are together with your bestfriend and walking in front of me holding hands and anything but looking as just friends. woah! but it was only a dream. actually it will damn hurt to see that.
today, i am a no life kiddo! went to school and the first thing to know is that i PASS english. Aaaaaaaaaahhh. What a relief man. nasib baik. then after english didnt pay attention to anyone or anything, just enjoying myelf. after school went lot 1. sab and fariza bought food culture. diyanah went home to tapao her mum's cookings. me went to food culture but i have no idea what i want to eat. so end up didnt buy food for myself. then i decided want to eat mcspicy. in my mind i was thinking how delicious it is to eat mcspicy. i remembered the first time eating mcspicy. sedap giler, hingga membakar lidah. but when reach mac's dint buy mcspicy but bought frappe. hahahaaa. then took lrt and off to fariza house with diyanah who took lrt at keat hong. then eat at fariza house. me drink frappe and sab's rootbeer. then quickly go out to school again. take cab. actually me and sab has no business aat school. we went to school to buy orange juice and then talktalk then look at the pe noticeboard then go home. No life kiddo! actually we can go straight home from fariza's house but hearing that fariza and diyanah are taking cab to school and fariza blanje the ride, like fun (free ride oi!)...
then me and sab took 985 home. when reached home, first thing i did was on switch on the tv and fan but lay on the sofa and sleep. hahaaa. waste electricity. once in a lifetime tkpe la....
wake at 6+. then bathe and eat peanut butter.yumyum!
i've plans for tomorrow. woah, 1 week of working oi this week. penat toot eh. nvm get to eat nice food for dinner the whole week. yay!

HAPPY B'DAE IRFAN IMAN!!

eh, you not you. YOU! i dunno what to say. we together or not like the same. you know right i'm not intrested in us. i mean i told you already that im lazy to layan you. like you said we are like not together cos im lazy to meet you, text you or even to pick up your calls. but i told you in the first place already and you said dun mind about it. so not my fault kalau tk text you. im not playing with your feelings cos i told you beforehand that im not intrested and you keep wanting to. to tell you the truth, me to think that we are like not together. if i text you also, i end up getting scolded by you. tk kesian ke? you mock your own girlfriend just like that. i mean if its just words like 'bastard' and 'selenge' tu masih le accept ah but if you say me all that f** words do you think im gona like you if you're like that. i meet you that one time also you dont layan me until i can sleep when i meet you and you dont even care. waste time tau. sorry , tetido that time... so it s up to you. to me, we are not together cos it feels just the same. and dun be angry cos i've told you before we together that i dun want to be what we are now. im sorry... im just not ready to start a new relationship. really, i jus want to clear things my mind first. i hope you understand. and actually, i know that you're two timing me now. how i know? tell me who called you that time? you were afraid that i would know that you are going out with another girl. i know cos the way you speak tells me everything. dun be afraid cos i never told anyone that we are even togeher. so its still gonna be the same like before. im not angry cos i knew it all along. i just want to see how you could live lieing to me again. this is not the first time. i cant bear it any longer to keep everything in me anymore. you are way too much. do you like it if i have another boyfriend like you have now?thank allah, cos i dint fall in your trap for the second time. back to top?

back to top?

just came bck from diyanah's house. im soo tired. did the shoelace and took 67 homed. before that went vivo with family. the first few hours were great, no fights no shouts. all fine. until the time when we were about to go home. fight la, shout la. alamak, i requested the family outing so that it will make them both together agian but end up fight again. then i was so bingit then went home then looked for my paint and the shoelace and quickly went out.

urgh, life is super difficult. and i heard that 10 people failed english. oooo, im really scared man. what if....

now at home. mum go out too syarahan. i forgot that i was suppose to follow her. nvm, im angry with her anyway. tmrw work and im going to sleep. its been long since i get to sleep. really, i only sleep for 3 or 4 hours lately. penat you know. back to top?

it is really hard for me to get you off my mind
okay, i've accepted this
actually im not thinking that much
like the previous days
but to see you makes me happy
but the fact that i cant touch or be near you
really makes me miss you
i dont wish to be ignored
nor do i want to ignore you...

jus got back from seoul garden. really bloated. i went straight to the toilet as soon as i got home. today, it wasnt that great a day. failed bio which means loss the com science, then com humanities also no hope. maths really out of chances. but i passed my literature. thats good but it brings me no where if i didnt pass english... i really want to promote. really want to.
if only i could change time, i wouldnt have gone out that night before chemistry. argh..):
today, people keep giving me shocking news. really shocking ones. i dunno what to say, i dunno if i should believe. i dunno if i should ignore either. i know it hurts to just ignore. but i dunno what to do.
after malay dance, went home to change. nab and kak murni followed me home. nab bath at my house. wah... then talked alot about life and love and family. really, lots to talk.
and i want to tell afifah, cheer up babe. there is always someone waiting there for you. eventhough im not close to you but i know what it feels like. hee...
tmrw going vivo with family. at last have a family outing. a request fulfilled by both parents. its been long since we go out as a family, miss those moments. but i feels hurtful to know that the family is soon to be gone. i cant make my mind. i want to make mum happy but it feels hard to live with dad. can i live alone? easy kan decision dia.
ahhh.... tired, stressed, depressed, hurt.... everuthing except happy...
i want my family and my life back...
): back to top?

seems like a morning to me now. jus come bck from work. felt like updating. today, i got bck my results.thanks allah i pass sastera. i was really scared bout it. bt i fail chem. DAMN! i studied like hell la. it jus becos of that guy i cnt focus that day and i flung. could you hurt me later like seriously ah, if it wasnt for u i wouldnt have gone out the night before and then cos me not to revise. so i had no sleep and the paper could be easy. im reallly disappointed cos i dint pass. really am. and its all becos of you. how i wish i pass. u jus ruined my chance of passing com science. ):
aft school went causeway with diyanah and fariza. hee. then went to lot 1. bought d24 durian puff. heavenly oi! sedap! then off home. then worked. woke up feeling tired before work. dunno why. jus feel so.
had great time today.
thought of going out tomorrow btu no place and no one place to go with.
well that's about it .
):

flung my test becos of you
i dunno if i should blame you
but i was really sure that i could pass
if we didnt have to be what we are now.
URGH! im soo depressed
my exams, family problem, YOU!
this is beginning to hurt.`
but im missing you
): back to top?

ahh, got it from sab's blog. hee, my house.
i miss the emerald's
back to top?

was awaken by mum's shouting today. she was blabbering on my gaji which is yet to be in my bank. damn it, 5 days of waiting for the pay. then she said she wants to go out

mummy: ehk ma nk klua
me: uhh (still sleeping)
mummy: want me to check your gaji tk
me: tkyah nanti orang klua
mummy: ma tinggal duit nanti bli nasi ayam
me:umm
nenek: mcmla dia dngar kn tnga tido tu
mummy: tau saje je
then when want to klua
mummy: ehk tutup pintu, ma da lambat (shouting from outside)
me: (still sleeping)
me: sufi tutup pintu mama suruh.(go back to sleep)


then when i really woke up around 9 i realised tht the door was not closed. then i look around the house and saw that im the only one in the house. wth.
currently eating maggi. cos my brother went out and forget to ask what i want for breakfast. wah, they get to eat mac's and me maggi. tknk kasi duit blanje baru tau.
going out to send dad's money and then meet someone. yesterday, i was at work and it feels so unlively cos my pay has not come in and everyone was angry including manager. ape ni.
then saw rahim with some of the twss people. wah, sorang lelaki nmpk. not bad.
when i was otw to work, i saw this guy. cute la. he board the bus with me and he suddenly turn to me and i was freak out that i run for the bus. hahaa. then in bus he was sitting facing me. and we keep looking at each other. but he is always blowing his nose. sakit bang? then when he want to cross we still look at each other, cute but dunno why he is like blowing his nose all the time.
got to go.
(: back to top?

sometimes, you just have to let go
eventhough you wish it wasnt true
life has to go on as it is
being sad and angry brings
nothing but hurt and pain...

ive my mind up. i decided to let go since there's no more feelings. i think you are more relieve now. but i need time ok.
yes, at least i believe in myself that i can try to let my life go on. after all those night out and the things that you say. im now making my mind. like you wanted. i gave it to you so that you wont need to worry of making me hurt or making you confused again. lets not talk about it anymore ok.
yesterday went to holland village. i became a one day tour guide bringing my relatives to the place that we use to live. I actually dont remember living there cos i was 2 when i went there. bought cookies from 7-eleven. it was super soft like a cake. sweet like a cookie. i dont think its a cookie. bought orange juice but mum finished it alone. my relatives bought 'mister potato' chips. i joined them eating all the way to mrt. good thing we were not lost. then mum saw her school friend. then she happy but walked away w/o asking for her number. then halfway scold me cos never tell her to take her friend number. She begged me to make her a facebook account. ape je. buat la sendiri da marah orng beh nak beg. then off home.
around 3 my twin cousins came. long time never see them. cute man.
prefer the adik cos he is all quiet . had this talk with both of them

me: amar ke amir yg good boy? amir good boy la diam je.
amar: amar good boy!
me: mane ada amar noisy. tngok amir good boy kan.
amar: amar good boy!
amir: amir good boy! amir nak cake!
amar: amar nak cake!




both boy super cute. fight for the same thing but amir seems to be very goo cos he give in though he is the adik. then when taking pic, amar want to take pic of his adik then he ask amir to do poses. when amir i ready, amar laugh and forget to take pic. then amir say "ape je".
had great time with them.
friday went raya with 2 emerald and celebrate zul's birthday. i was super tired that day. sdf knows why. then off home with fariza and afiq cos i was sleepy padahal i could stay. hee. my eyes were red ready. photo's at afiq's cam.

byes

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back to top?

byes
happy 1st month (yesterday)
(:
i know you didnt forget. i trust you. back to top?

back to top?