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Im Siti Sulaiha Bte Kamsani.Turning a year older every 21st december. Im nonsensical, noisy, but not adorably entertaining What makes my life awesome is the great life tht shapes me i lurvee ANDIEKA ♥, my AWESOME SDFS and PC gangmates. life's more better if u colour it with blue and fill it with chocolates AWESOMELY INCREDIBLE !

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its really hurting to see the future being ruined and stuffs tht really shows tht sometimes things are just soo bad. i cant stop thinking about this things and its really difficult too.
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had a really dreadful day to day. damn tiring but fun at the same time. had dance pract. from 10 to 3+ then went to westmall to buy things and teman nab make her stuffs. hehee, sweet per kau?.... meet sab, fariza and diyanah today during comb. rehearsal. how i really miss them. i dunno how to tell u guys bout my problem. hmmph, friday je la k... had fun with sab today teasung diyanah tht we saw her stuffs.. hahaa, actually we saw nothing.. miss her and the others too. at westmall, bought ribbons and went to accompany nab. i realised tht mufiidah was missing by then and ask the others bout her and they said they dint know. i dint realise she texted me cos my phone was in my bag. i only realise when its too late i think. dint reply her cos prepaid was long. i feel soo guilty. im soo sorry. then of home with nab and murni. was joking around in bus. hahaa. rambut afro, the straight version kepe. then homed, fought with brother and then ate spaghetti. the sauce was too sweet cos mum dint put pepper or and spices. cannot telan man...

i am waiting for someone to text me. i dint text u cos i know u r gonna b busy like what u said yesterday. soo, im still waiting...



i dont know what i shld do now...i was really hurt but ur harsh words towards me yesterday. sometimes when people say harsh things, they dont realise. but it really hurts to hear u say tht u're tired of thinking. does tht mean tht u r tired of us? i cried every night thinking how i missed and when i am going to mit u again... really, sometimes it gets too hard for me and u are sometimes not understanding me... that kept me thinking a lot.

whenever i texted u, it took soo long for u to reply me, sometimes u dont at all. im really trying my best to understand and b patient with u. and i guess it works wonders... i dont like it when u say tht u are not fit to b mines cos i dun care if your attitude is bad or soo as long as u keep your heart to me. i really love you and thts all tht matters to me, nothing else. no one is perfect. i afraid to lose and not b able to see u agian thts why sometimes i get fired up when u are not able to meet me. but its okay cos i know tht u're busy too. try being in my place bie, its really really hard for me to go through this alone. i love u and no one else... remember how u told me to promise tht we are going to make this last long no matter what happens? i will always remember it....
i ♥ u... back to top?

tired, stressed and all thats not pleasant.

yestrday, went for dance pract. then was supposed to mit zul at town but was cancelled. then asked mufiidah to go to town but when the mrt reaches clementi, went bck to cck to meet zul. last minute plan. sorry mufiidah. then ate mac's with her and talk2 until like 7+. gosh, he was taking his sweet time coming to cck when he is only at bb. then wanted to go bodyshop but then he arrive. urgh.... had a great time yesterday until the night around 9+ or mayb 10. i told him abt the things that are happening now and he seems upset. it makes me upset to see him like that what more my friends and family that i may have to leave behind. theres alot of things tht i need to let go in this short period of time. its really difficult. he made me felt better last night asking me to be strong and all. but its sometimes uncontrollable... i have till nxt week onlywhich is like on 22nd nov. i wish i could spent more time with my love ones. i have yet to tell my besties abt ths, scared thth i may cry on the spot. shld wait for the bbq to tell so tht i have to tell it only once... how complicated can this be?....

mitting dad soon and i guess i need to ask him bout the plans now. idk what to say to him? i want to stay badly... ):

today went dance prac. again then off to causeway to look for job for mum and bro. wah! both of them got it at causeway. haahaa... im a good luck charm....haaaa.... im gonna miss moments like ths when im away... ahhh... mum was so insising on eating at kfc so went banquet the after that she bought takeaway at kfc for my lil brother. wth! then off home... mum is irritating when she ask questions again and again. she keeps asking if she fits size m and im like 'no' and she kept asking it and i finally said 'yes'. act slim only... back to top?

sometimes people wants to make things such a big deal
but its themselves who needs to control it and nobody can tell what they shld do
hmm... sometimes, its difficult to control ourselves but we need too..
thats what make it difficult.

just came back from dance practice and talktalk with nab and murni. then homed. mum was asking me for job again. and im like, 'pegi la carik sendiri'. she said ' ala, malas sey nk klua'. soo pemalas, want to find job but lazy to go out. no life eh. working later. omg, im soo tired. yesterday's work was suckish. people begin to hate the supervisor la like seriously she is so arrogant ang ignorant la. i mean yes, we need to follow instructions from you but dun pull us when we are doing our job and start taking over the task can? if like thth might as well you do everything. urghh!!
planning to go somewhere during holidays but schedules are too tight and its really difficult to fit in time for some other things. there's alot of things to get this month. and i dont know when im going to save? my savings is $1. no progress since last month. hahaa, i need someone to control my spenditure but if we're to let my mum handle it, it means there's nothing that i can spend. ahhh... life is difficult, i cant deny.

ps: sometimes its difficult to understand long-distance relationship but i dont know how to accept it when problem arises due to the distance between us. its difficult but at the same time, there is space for us both to breath. soo, is it good or is it bad? back to top?

today had rock-climbing. did well i think for the level 1. had fun at the place.
after lunch, me and diyanah took the stairs up to level 5 which was like at level 10 la, cos we thought the lift was not working as they put a sign stating its under maintainence. but when we reach the level, the lif was actually working. wah! super tired already sia.
dint get to mit zul. ):
sab, ur eyes are contagius cos my eyes are redenning too. ahh!!! back to top?

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heyllos.
back from desaru camp yesterday. a day earlier jus becos there's no water there as the pipe broke. soo merepek. had little fun at camp. but enjoyed teaching the students there. they were super duper cute. pic's are all at sab's camera. hahax. our bunk was soo the bad. and us 4 were scared so we bath and sleep closely together. whenits time for lights off, sdfs were chatting and taking pictures and laughing. hahax. diyanah and me have difficulty sleeping cos we not used to aircon. she wake me up in the morning to accompany her go toilet. hahax.
then did cip the next day which was touching and fun. miss someone while doing cip and at night. then when we were told tht we were going home a day earlier. we were stun cos its such a waste tht we went only for 2 day 1 night camp and most people bring big bags for nothing. then when reach singapore we had dinner at food culture lot 1 then off home. mummy was soo bad scaring me saying tht me look scary and the place tht we stayed has a lot of ghost. bad momma. then wash up and sleep.
today wake at 11+ text diyanah to go marina. so off to marina at 2 then walk2.we failed in taking picture. stopped by a man otw to marina. he surveyed me on a job tht is payed at 9k per month. wow! i was stunned. hehee. eat ice cream along the way there. then went off to queensway to lokk for diyanah's slippers and have mcspicy. heehee. at mcdonalds 2 people talked to me. first an ite guy who ask my number for his friend. seen tht guy before cos he come to my workplace before for interview. when he asked my no. i wanted to run but the later diyanah left behind so sat there only.then the 2nd person an african guy who was walking up the stairs to mac's when we were about to go to ikea. he was like ''ohh lord ,you're beautiful" and i was like ''thankyou''. then the face was like irritating cos he was shocking man. funny face. shld have taken his picture. hten of to ikea to find diyanah's mum's carpet but her mum say no need. then off home. the mrt was stopping when it wasabt to reach each stop. irritating cos me wanted to use toilet badly. then when reach lot 1 ran to toilet. hahaa. then saw shasha in the toilet. hee. then went home.
home nothing to do. tired but out of things to occupy me. back to top?

hahax, felt so stupid yesterday. went to mac'cafe right to buy my double choc frappe, then the guy who made the frappe was cute so looked at him la. then he was like busy doing the drinks and all. so i waited patiently. then when he handed me the frappe he asked for my number and ran away. idk why i ran. everytime when gguys do those things i run away. but i regret running cos he was cute. ahhh.....
went to work and yes slack again. then manager let me eat when im not suppose too. hahaa. me only. not fair i know but i was hungry. really hungry so i ordered 1 set meal. hahax. bastard me.
then homed and pack things for desaru. then text dude till like the whole evening. i reallyy had nothiing to do man.
read a book that i borrowed titled ' born blue' damn nice la. the girl in the story was a pitiful one. her mum was down woth heroin and she was sold for heroin. then she make up a new name and live her life alone running away from houses tht she was put at. and she had passion for singing. she gave birth to child when she was 13 cos she was drunk and on drugs when she was taken of her dignity. then she gave the baby to the father of the child and promise to come back for her baby. she went to many places to start anew. then she found her mum again but her mum was diagnosed with AIDS already and was dying. she didnt accep at first but eventually did. then her mum died and when she wanted to get her child back she retreated as she saw the child had a good life then and she didnt want her child to be like her or her mother. she left her child and didnt take her but she cried for that.
it was sad at the last part. hee. good book.
k ive got not much to share jus bored sick of being home broke.
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