sulaiha

2010-08-03T01:08:00.000-07:00

im starting a new one . re-link http://sulaihaxzs.blogspot.com

2010-06-20T05:52:00.002-07:00

decided t give my love a visit today

awww, soo sweet of me. i waited for hym under the sun looking at him work

guess what he looks adorable when he's busy

his hardworking face tells me he can be a houseboy

u know , those doing housework like cleaning and cooking

i dint go kendarat for certain reasons but saw the others

i practically sat for like 1hr 30mins looking at him , jus looking at him laa

then i went homee, irritating ryte but nvm i ike wasting time.

then i was hyper at home and took pics alone in my room

like an idiot i called myself clumsy cos i took pic but covered the flash

hahaha.

im really bored at home. and i miss him.

2010-06-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

this is a dunno when post

i dunno wheni went out, what time or day but the things happen

hehehe :D

soo had fights , lots of them and i think tht being in a relationship is tiring

especially whe ur boyfriend likes to joke when u are serious

soo i decided to stop thinking bout him . hahaa :D

"i also playplay only dun take it too hard"

is the most irritating phrase when he jokes and makes me angry but end up i was just jokes

not funny, but can la

things i did recently is:

1.neoprint in a japanese machine "love joker"

(suits us man, joker!)

2. bought my shorts

3. dnd camp

4. sushi with sdf, zane and qixang

5. went bottle tree to catch prawns it ws feaking awesome, i wish to go again

we cook them ryte after catching it. i got 13 prawns (Y).

6. bought a dress with dee today ( i knew the day cos its today) laughed alot . AWESOME!

7. ate candy floss

8. had takoballs and it was soo delicious

i ate alot these few days. cant help it cos eating has become my next best habit and i love it soo much now. im an avid eater . heehee, i cant wait for :

1.wednesday photoshoot @ punggol with sdf

2. friday nite date

3. saturday, resorts world (Y) *free*

4.thursday , meeting khairunnisa to study (Y)

5. 1oth june, mcspicy

i really cant wat to see khairunnisa, damn miss her , i had soo many memories with her and she is one of my bestest friend, its been long since i see her like 2 to 3 months or mabe 4 ..

i want to hug her seriously .

thursday, thursday, thursday ...

my hand is disgusting the wound has bubbles and i feel like poking it

2010-05-16T03:36:00.000-07:00

i love the railway track

just be happy !!

((:

2010-05-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

i read this book titled "my fair godmother". this makes me realise tht fairy tales aren't true and the fact tht we wished for making our lives like fairy tales would not and never come true .

in tht book it shows me tht we need to appreciate what we have and no dwell on it.

fairy tales have many versions ths why we hear different

stories from different people of the same character.

this jus shows how fairy tales can not be trusted fully enough

and we shld not wish for our lives to be like a fairy tale cos

our life is already one . a fairy tale is one tht no one else experience .

i went out with dee to the railway near my house to take pictures.

soo cute ryte, passer-by we looking at us eventhoug we went far off.

then we went to eat ISCREAM . soo refreshing as the weather was hot .

then went to pick an.

a story to tell: when i was otw to bp lrt, a china man said "i've seen u before but cant remember

when, can i take ur number ?" then he took my phone ryte off me and punched

his number and miss called hymself.

china man:"you are very pretty"

me: "byebye."(cos i thought he was saying bye, or was it me who wanted

to run off fast)

china man: " i said u are very pretty"

and i said thank u trying to be humble . then i run off to the lrt station straight.

wah! soo weird and then he texted me and called me those adjectives

tht he cld think off i guess. irritating.

the journey to pick an was soo tiring had to stand for 9 stations

and when i saw him he said we going cck. so i merely stand for 18 staions laa.

somemre the restaurants at lot 1 was damn pack tht we made rounds finding a seat.

then homed.

pathetic isnt it tht i went home and realised tht my bedroom light has went off not only tht,

the toilet light went off too. GREAT!

2010-05-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Mothers Day!! I ate 2 cupcakes tht i made ystrday with sdf. i was suppose to gve them to my mum and grandma but yeah i thought it would be better if i tasted it first . hehe. been having exams lately and im damn sure tht i dint do well for english . and malay lit , cos i dint get to finish it . ss too dint finish SEQ . hmph and i havent study for other papers yet . tmrw is a.maths but dint memories any single thing. maybe will start at 6 tonite . like i'll remember anythng tmrw . hmph thinking of dropping it cos it doesnt make any difference actually . had a really dreadful day on friday , dint get to finish my papers and was kinda dissapionted but not soo . tired somemore cos got venkat's lesson at 12+ when all the students have actually went home . decided to fetch someone bt didnt get to meet him at all and i went back alon, hungry, scolded and upset .
yesterday was fun . had baking sessions with sdf and it was super fun . i love it . i got a stupid face ystrday . my face on pictures are damn stupid la like i wan slap my face .urgh! going out later maybe to flea at iluma or going jp to develop photos . soo bored at home .

2010-04-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

day by day its getting really excruciating. im tired of us . yes us, ur attitude seriously is driving me mad . urgh! im fucked up today . really , pple jus love to hurt others feeling .hmmph, exams are coming and im feeling nothing. no stress no what , jus tired like a toot . had so much laugh today . i learnt nothing today except to cheer qixiang up by being ''ena mez'' . *sab*
awwww first time being so kind to qx . hahaha.
then went westmall with sdf and lyana . sdfs bought the same headband but of different colour. aww so cute . then homed .then met an .*sigh* but at least get to eat sushi . met dee with *insert name* we hugged when we see each other . cute lah tu mcm tk pernah jumpe gitu . hehehe.
then otw home alone , i saw my first love and i was awed by him laa. soo long never see hym but we kept quiet . trying to be oblivious to one another .
im damn tired , really and i really stink . i feet hurts cos my nails are too long. and i'm getting free airmax shoes. wohooo!

2010-04-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

didnt went to school on friday cos i cant wake up at all. my body was weak since thursday nite which scare me + an eventhough his only encouragement was to ask me to try and stand up. and thts all thru msg laa. then went to study at mac arnd 4+ eventhough i dun feel good but it feels damn bored at home . then had tuition and went to mit an for like 30 mins and went home . i feel the time spend was pathetic . i mean really he dint even want to send me home la . and i went home alone like a lonely girl with no directions. then saturday was disasterous.
he is becoming more and more un controllable. he dont believe in me at all and accuse me alot . he is beginning to hurt me more and really i dunno wats gotten into hym . im tired of all this and feel like giving up thts wat ive been telling hym . hey change can you?
met sdf ystrdy and felt happen cos friday dint get to met them . love korang. you all make me smile . (: ily all !

2010-04-18T04:11:00.000-07:00

sorry for not updating for a real long time .
days have been fill with sorrows and sufferings. thankfully there's my dearest friends , andieka and especially my nenek and abang firdaus whose always there to help me .
i have a new number now if those who text me realise tht i dont reply thts becos i've a new number. i realise tht life is really soo unfair and theres nothing we could do to change tht. we just have to live with it . which is killing us bit by bit .
had a really disasterous 2 weeks or was it 3 ?? i dunno but it really wasnt pleasant .
i am really greatful tht i have a granma who cares from me and supports me ryte from the start . fi realise tht ive neglect her alot and now tht i know, i never fail to give her a kiss when i go out. i love her like my own mum. i mean she has been my mum all along since child and there is no doubt tht nenek will always be my mother no matter what . i pray really hard tht she would be ok after her operation which is coming soon . and for abng fir, i realy hope the best for your court case hopefully its not the worst tht we could hear. although i dint tell u ths but i want u to know tht i love u so much . and i know tht we would be brohters and sisters forever like how nenek and atok took care of us the last time . i remember those times when u , me nenek and atok went out together. it feels more like a family thn, not like now , all of us have gone different ways. thanks for caring for me ans savong me each time when i need u . i've always acknowledge u as my brother since child and it would never change i promise .
ill just have to live like this till im old enough to live on my one with nenek and abng again. i miss atok, the love he gave me and how he put me at the top of his other cucu's . i really miss hym i have a picture of hym in my room and he just look like how i remembered him to be . i jus miss the life and family tht i used to be with . they are just too wonderful . there's love all along. ):
and for an thanks for being patient, i know we can do it . yeah! we are gonna prove to the world tht we can be together . i know im stubborn , like what u said but whatever it is i still love u .
for sdf thank u for being wiht me all along .

2010-04-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

i've been sick for the week .
monday, went ot schoola and manage to go through the day but thn skipped tutorial cos i was sick.tuesday, went school and went back after assembly, midway of ss. wednesday, had a 3 days mc but came school eventually . thursday, went school and did my test wish was a no hope test .
tystrday went sab's house for movie marathon and it was fun. had many webcam pictures and it was the day tht i sat like a monkey all day . i feel so ugly . hahaa ! today went jp and bck home at 3+. planned to go jurong bird park with brother but we dint know where it was and it was raining so the plan was cancelled . family is going johor tmrw , but i may not be going cos i want to meet an!!! yay!! hopefully he dont call it of . its been like a long time not meeting him.

2010-03-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

ysterdays sports day was great ! had lots of fun with the jumpshots and all .
eventhough panther got 2nd for the dance i feel tht we still did our best and tht

its good to still be in the top 3 . soo today went flea with sab and diyanah after bengkel.

bengkel was okay cept for the coldness . then met an and we did fight alot today

really and before we went home we fight more and then got back to laughing again .

but i know its gonna be alryte cos he is patient to me . im the stubborn one .

sab and dee laughed seeing us both .

anyway IRFAN and MUZAQKIR get well soon yo!

2010-03-20T00:53:00.000-07:00

im baccckkk from sarawak . it was a nice trip . but there were misunderstandings fights and all . but love the nite times cos i had ample time laughing my heart out , gossiping and talking with my roommate, murni and the 'aku tak boleh' peoples . overall i enjoyed the stay there. the hotel tht we slept in was super big and very luxurious . got bath tub somemore . managed to call darling there cos i bought my a number there . wohooo!! bought little things cos i really duno what to buy . forgot to buy daddy's shirt and he came home wearing my bangles tht i bought and one of it snap off . thanks ehh daddy !! urgh ! dint manage to bought mny things cos the time given was short. really short and we were like having a race while shopping . running all over places to get things but still came up woth only a few . but the holiday was well spent . discovered alot from the members , good or bad . i dint have a picture wiht me cos i brought my camera but forget tht my battery was at home .. -.-

2010-03-14T03:26:00.000-07:00

went out with an in the afternoon at bbdc cos he took his motor license . i was mad at hym for saying things tht hurts and then i walked off . frankly i was pissed . at the bustop , he went to kinda make it more hurtful but i jus ignored and walked off again. although i dint wan to do tht i jus want hym to stop saying things like tht . i jus want hym to let hym be quiet but no matter what i tell hym he dint so i though the best way was to walk off . he ask for us to be over . i was sad and feeling pissed with myself cos i just cant explain to him . but then 15 mins later we got back to meet at bukit gombak . haiyoh , soo he dint meant to call it over . i was happy tht we dint end our relationship. he dint brought up the fight again after tht although his hurtful words are still there. i was putting on my deaf ears so tht i will not feel like walking off again .
going sarawak soon and will be missing hym, my friends and dance . damn it , is it even a holiday?? but good thing i get to travel . i just cant wait to go but at the same tyme i will b missing an laa , we only have like 12 hours/week . how short is tht ?? i hope tht we could be seeing each other much often . (no need go ns laa an). ouh yah, an said he wants to go ite again after ns . i was like "-.-". when are u gonna start working then? u'll be 21 when u finish ns u know . then go ite , u will be 23 when ur done .. im ok with u studying but think about it u'll need to support ur mummy and urself also u know . how to do tht if u nt working?
i find things are getting expensive day by day . soo difficult to cope with my savings man . i miss working . how i wish i could do weel in o's and start working . hehee .

2010-03-13T04:27:00.000-08:00

today had great fun. went out to meet an in the morning and today is the longest day tht we spend together . i was suprised to see hym cos he cut his hair . funny but ok la since he had to have it cut . i find hym getting chubbier day by day . isnt he suppose to get slimmer cos he's training at camp?? an your not training urself well ah ! wanted to watch movie but suddenly when we reach cathay cineleisure we dint want to watch any so yah , travelled tht far for nothing . . hehee . but then to not make our time wasted we had walk around town and he bought me the ripcurl pencil case i want . ahhh thank you . we did something stupid tht we repeated thrice today . we went to wisma and entered this door then we walked out from the door thts just opposite it . and this was repeated at ion and mrt station . we came in from this door and went out from the door thts just like next to it w/o knowing it . soo thn we laigh non-stop . then we went fareast and rounded the shopping centre up and down for more than 4 times . overall for today , we did lots of stupid things but enjoyed it like hell .
my results are worst but they are still manageable for me . im aiming for better results and wish tht i really get what i want .
i need motivation from people . mummy said if go ite also not bad . wah, bastard sia ! but good la at least i dun need to be afraid of failing . wohooo!

2010-03-07T04:28:00.000-08:00

i had ample 2 days time with you. You jus did show me now tht im more different from the girls tht u were texting , im happy for tht eventhough i still do not like the idea of u texting other girls but since u let me do tht too i cant see y i need to forbid u anyway. These 2 days tht we spend together is like the best since the 1 month++ tht we have gone through . i know i was troublesome but i am happy tht u dont mind me being nonsensical, troublesome and annoying at times . u always said im alright for u eventhough i know i nag at u alot . but i am really thankful tht god gave us time to be together . it made me realised tht my perceptions for u are wrong but this doesnt give u the pass to be texting those people again ok . My time with u today was short but enjoyable . fancy getting tired for just a few hours of our journey to west coast plaza but all we did was eat . U realise not ? whats wrong with our body today . maybe the weather like what u say.

soo Alice in Wonderland was awesome cos most of the props were BLUE. there were blue rabbit, blue butterflies , blu dresses , blue skies , blue caterpillar and many more blue . Too bad green got removed most of the time . (SAB). find the story cute and hilarious at times . i just like how the place has a lot of colours . it looks like a fairytale land . i would be the happiest girl if that place ever exist here right before my eyes .

i realise tht not going to school for 3 days is absofuckingly awesome. Its the best lah but then it does not happen . damn it . i did my filing at home . thts so great la cos its the first time u could see me doing my schoolwork . im lazy to do my things this days . i dun like studying, doing homework and even going out . soo how lazy and i out of 10 ??

~i cant wait for this saturday . hearing ur plans for tht day makes me impatient . i really miss u and thanks for being my best ever companion .

2010-03-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

today is a suckish day .
firstly becos i had pe and had to run 2.4 and eventually panchit on the way to finishing point . then i got a msg from an tht wasnt meant for me and he actually acknowledge tht person as baby and im like 'what the f**k'. but he told me thts its step sister . i was angry but yah im linient to hym i guess . but i tld hym i dint forgive hym.
then i had chem test which i dint really focus becos of the things tht happen and the tiredness i felt . then had dance , it was awesome la but i really am tired laa .

~im too angry/tired to say anything but i wish an knows tht i dun like hym calling anyone baby cos its like he's treating them the same as he treats me . its not fair . they are not ur gf and they get to be called baby . i dun wan them to feel tht u are making them special cos i want to be the only one .ryte im jealous but i tell u this which gf doesnt feel jealous ? if tht gf doesnt get jealous means u can jus dump her laa. im saying cos i still love u . pls dun try and test my patience cos i tell u this i really hate to be used . i dun wan to be used anymore by any guys . im not a doll tht u can play with la.

2010-03-03T04:07:00.000-08:00

Im happy yet sad and tired at the same time .

1st thing today , i realised that it has been one month with andieka and i only realised tht like 2 hour before it reaches 12 midnite last night. u understand what im typing?? i think tht i myself cant understand it lah. But atleast i dint forget lah . hope he doesnt know tht it kinda slip of my mind . i was busy and stress with schoolwork and dance and everything. My mind dint get a rest at all so i tend to forget things. So i came up with this long 10 pages message for hym and wanted to send it to hym at 12 at the dot but i eventually slept . It was accidentally lah and i woke up at 4 in the morning and send it to hym feeling tht it wasnt auspicious anymore . but i guess its better tht i send it to hym than not cos if not then i have wasted 2 hours preparing the messages thinking of the ryte words . Hahaa fancy having to think too much for a message . my english really sucks laa .
2nd, i had not much tyme to do my maths test today and i feel really depressed cos i knew the answers and i feel so bad cos im gonna fail again. i studied tht hard but i still fail im really depressed man .. hmm the whole of the last page i left out which is like i lost more thn 10 marks jus like tht . the graph which is simple also i dint get to complete it . how bad it be .. i feel so depressed .

3rd i really am stress studying for chem but i think i could pass this one cos i understand it better. i pray hard tht i really pass for real cos it will be like the first test tht i pass since january. im doing really bad . urgh! help me someone . really im feeling tht the tension is super unmanageble. hmph..

4th im missing an terribly. been more than a week not seeing hym . im really looking forward for this saturday i really want to watch alice in wonderland with hym . its gonna be awesome . having not meeting hym and celebrating our 1 month alone is really sad but i guess this will be training for us both . I want to get new phone soon . An asked if iphone or itouch i better i should have told hym itouch la so tht i can get the iphone for myself but then i told hym already its iphone and he is buying it soon maybe . Urgh!! everyone i s buying what i want and its really unfair man . damn it .

~i want to watch alice in wonderland . the trailer is awesome la . An u better go with me or i gonna pinch u really badly .

2010-02-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

first time spending my weekends at home. It a really bad idea cos it make me sick, food at home are awesomely uneatable and the boredom makes it worse . i seriouly dint went out during the weekends la except to buy my pen and marker ystrday. thats all.

living at home can make my life sucks like hell ! studied at home like a good girl do and thanks i dint remember a thing tht i learn. AWESOME !

soo my motivator to study has not been meeting me more than a week and is going to continue tht till next weedend. no choice but wait . actually need to take my dance outfit today but forget it la, who wants to go supandi's house and pick it up on a sunday? maybe im jus a lazy girl but totally worth the time entertaining ok . so i've been entertained by people on msn la, like muzaqkir and zul and many others good thing there's something called msn to keep me entertained.

3 MORE DAYS !! but u just told me tht u forget what it was . AWESOME!

2010-02-18T01:03:00.000-08:00

today is a really short day for me.
i dunno y. usually thursdays are draggy especially in malay lit class . so unrelated to the lesson . soo today went home with sdfs and in the bus there's this girls who pushed me in the bus . walao , ass sia tht girl . when i turn to look at her she roll eyes at me . stupid or what push already dont know how to say sorry . give me the look as if i purposely stopped . then i keep looking at her . she stared at my name tag dunno y . then suddenly i saw her do something unglam , she hold her *toot* and act like no one see it . shameless creature . do tht in public for what . its not sexy mind you .
now at home doing nothing . i want to study maths but i skipped 2 days lesson already, difficult to catch up . just now got a text from an ♥. he text those like pass on messages about love and i wanted to txt back but i had no pass on messages so i created one . its a rhyming one

" people go jogging,

i go dating,

people watch tv

i go movie

people love car

i love andieka "

i know its lame but at least i tried and i sure get a1 for literature . hahaa .

yesterday skipped school . had head pain so i decided not to go . but i met an for my blood test . i was giggling when the nurse injected me . it just feel so ticklish to me laa .then went dance . this week i met an lots of time and im happy cos its once in awhile . otherwise he'll be in camp training . hmmmph hope the ns will be over soon . the happiest thing this week is i get to eat satay. at last and i ate it all alone la . yumyum .

2010-02-12T23:33:00.000-08:00

everything changes in one day ,
its been the second time u disappoint me when u promise tht u wont
then u did what reminds me of that jerk , why?
is this valentine gonna be a good or a bad one?
why did u change jus so suddenly ?

2010-02-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

im really feeling tired now .
i dint do anything at home all day . went polyclinic for blood test but they say they cant do it today and i have to come bck on monday . darn it! waste my morning. went to re-new my bus concession with daddy and went home straight . i really had no plans for today . did my karangan naratif halfway and stop cos i dint have the mood to go on with it.
i've been in no mood these few days except for when im with sdf . i dunno y . moodswings is really making my life boring . cant watch tv , cant study (no mood) , dunno where to go out and can't text an . im rotting at home already . jus one day at home and im feeling like shit .

one thing im feeling strange about is my family . they're getting back again . but theres no difference in my eyes . i still see the third party in the family today so i dun see the point of them getting back together . this is all becoming to one cycle of a story . i want to tell her he just wont change and she's hurting herself more by accepting hym . but then they seem alryte . like there's nothing wrong. at 1 side i feel happy tht they are together but i really find it stupid . it's a mistake repeating itself. i know i cant hate hym cos like it or not he's my dad . i use to be able to get along with hym . now it jus feel different . i dont like being with hym anymore and i think i am being rude everytime he talks to me . i cant respect hym anymore. its not tht i cant forgive hym but i just dont like being woth hym anymore . he feels like a stranger to me .
mum told me off tht day for being rude to hym. she told me to say sorry but i jus dint . cos i couldnt . he is not what i respected hym to be . i cant pretend he is the person u thought he is cos i know tht he isnt . im sorry . one day , all this will be revealed sooner or later . i dont want to see u like the state u were last tyme but i cant tell u what i saw cos it will hurt u mre . ill just keep things to myself till the day comes. but i dont want to decide again cos i really cant come out with answer .

going to movies tomorrow with an dear.
miss hym lots cos its been 6 days not seein hym
hope we really go out tomorrow

2010-02-05T04:32:00.000-08:00

A whole week of scoldings and stresses . Urgh!
For the whole week i keep missing the bus and have to run for buses . Soo buses are playing catching with me . Drivers are too afraid of me . Thursday was my stress of the stress day . Fisrt thing in the mornig i realise tht i lost my literature book , then my ruler went missing . Then i got scolded by mdm khong for not handing in yellow file . Then after school i went to buy shoe , was rushing cos i only have an hour to go and come back school . Soo i ran for the 187 bus tht i saw from far . the bus was pack like what. And then went posb to withdraw money and then forget to take the receipt and soo i walked there again and the receipt is gone . soo i went to the shop to buy my shoe and then went to bustop . soo guess what happen ? i had to run for the bus again but thos tyme the bus went off w/o me. DAMN IT! waste of energy . then during dance i was super stress cos i really had a bad day and i cant get my steps ryte.
i wanted to cry but i held back my tears cos i think im being dramatic . soo went home with a bus pack again this tyme i was soo regretful tht i took tht bus cos actually there's a long bus at the back . URGH!
today had cross country dint run . Hahaa. it was a PC couple run today we were like making fun of people we pass by and laughed alot sia . Dint get to drink 100 plus . the run was so uncomfortable with wet clothes soo me and sab kinda run-walk . what is intresting is thth when we say the first upper sec boy, we suddenly start running till the end. I went to the wrong lane cos the teacher thought i was a lower sec girl . haix.. teachers nowadays >.< .
then went to mac and cab to bpp with fariza, sab and afiq. journey there was super funny. hahaa. only us know then slack at mac. saw this bird with a thread on its leg. we wantd to help it but fail eventhough sab feed fries to eat, we cant catch it. then fariza went of followed by afiq.
left me and sab as always laa. we talk nonsense about the THT thingy . funniest sia cant stop playing with it . continued playing it till we went home . but he thing about 'a' is really funny .
thne now at home with grandma watching tv . but she is wiping the floor with tissue . hahaaa..
my fam went to body world w/o me . URGH! soo unfair . there's my father somemore. family gatherin w/o me nevermine ah . hmph this cant be accepted .
missing an but nvm he said im nonsense . my god! what is wrong with people im not nonsense im entertaining laa .

2010-01-31T04:21:00.000-08:00

today went soo called studying with qixiang , diyanah, nabilah and an♥ . i was in no real mood to study but managed to know the formula for standard deviation and i really like it cos its easy .. at last i get to put my hands on e-maths . im starting to give up on a-maths got i really dont get it no matter how hard u tell me to understand . hahaa , bear with me people .. went to met an at clementi then took bus to chevrons . follow hym buy his things .. intresting place sia its like a shop but same like a store as in the store at home .. all thing labelled and in trays .. then off to popular to find dee's paper . this girl super cerewet sia ..
then went jurong library , start on standard deviation . super easy ! yay! and then gave up halfway not becos i dunno how to do but i'm too lazy .. haahaa .. diyanah's singing were irritating sia just now followed by her voice . funny ke pe .. then went imm to eat but left my bag at library .. ate long john , then bought sushi . yumyum! then let an smoke first before going off .. generous kn ? hahaa went to take my bag and all 4 of us went home ..
im really happy today jus cant put it in words but im really sad to let an go to his camp . want to send hym but i need to come home early .. hmm , nvm im really happy no matter what ..

2010-01-22T03:12:00.000-08:00

im dead tired and head hurts lots ..
painkillers are temporary medications only so what difference does it make ? soo
back from malay dance just know . exciting when it comes to know tht the whole
dance is gonna be finish soon cos i gt to practice more . soo today veryvery early in the morning
got a message from this someone , dun ask who cos i too duno hym . see 6 people texted me ..
all of them i do not know but they know my name . scary sia , did they get my number from the yellow pages ? haahaa i know the culprit who gave my number to this guys already . kill u all then u know . but i give u chance ah .
soo malay lesson watched video of nurin jazlin . the murderer is soo evil , isn't it painful for a person to be abused like tht what if it happens to him ? i really want to say tht the murderer should be severely punished . doesnt he have a heart at all . cruel sia .
thn had english . as per usual dint pay attention . english lessons are too boring it keeps be distracted all the time . then bio and maths. maths was fun today. theres a new word i learn today which is "eunoversity" its a universuty at eunos . haahaa , lame tht was what i heard when venkat pronounced university . funny sia .
then after school eat with sab and we take peoples food too . ahh CORNTOS is my new favourite food . i bought 2 packets sia .yumyum ..
and then went dance and homed . homed phone with someone named hadii one of the 6 people who texted me but the only one who say he seen me before . where? i dunno . maybe i just dint realise . soo tomorrow going town and west coast with sabluvx . we can lesbo tomorrow .

2010-01-19T04:54:00.000-08:00

people always come up with things like 'if only' and 'i wish' ..
but then we have the reality which is there is no if only or even wishes . reality can be hurtful but whatever it is bad or good , sad or happy we just have to accept it .. i know whats t like to face a really bad reality and soo does others . there are always someone whose situation is much more worse . this saying keep sme going in life .

had a heart attack headache in class today . wah! like soo damn painful snd i need see doctor urgently tomorrow. this makes me scared cos doctors always tell me there's something wrong with my health blahblahblah .. everytime go clinic u same dialogue '' u cannot be too stress and blahblahs " . pls create a new dialogue doctors . i think i'll put tht in the suggestion box like mr venkat says .. hahaaa
ystrday eat pastamania with mum . treated her but the food ystrday was the awfullest of all . mum ordered what seafood thing and then says its not nice and guess what she swop mines with hers . see, such an evil monster . somemore ask me order pizza . people eat main course then dessert but us eat maincourse for TWO times .. then went macs just to see the happy meal toys . merepek , it was the lame night laa. then went home had diarrhea . hahaa, always sick but i feel like normal . like nohting happen to me .

ps: im missing your presence in me

2010-01-15T20:17:00.000-08:00

catched cinderella story yesterday and it feels really nice when we realise tht
things are becoming better towards the end. and being strong is reaally the best way in making yourself happy. soo after cinderella story i was facebook-ing and then i visited zulqarnyne's profile.. all along i made another mistake.. he dint lie to me , its true tht he has another girl but then he dint lie to me tht he was migrating .. he is really migrating ..
just when i start to think tht im gonna be flying, i fall again .. i was really feeling bad cos i scolded him for coming up with the migrating story .. and guess when he is going ? its this monday
if only i had realise sooner tht it was all true i would have treasured him like my best of the best friends .. im sorry for thinking that was and sorry for wishing for your unhappiness in life
i want to turn back time for all this to be going smooth but then it only turns out to be my wish ..
well we are still friends now and i guess i would be keeping hym as part of my memories ..
im sorry for thinking u were lying ..

soo then chatted till nyte and sleep at 3 in the morning .. someone is being really cute and safe for me ..

2010-01-14T03:54:00.000-08:00

two weeks of school and i feel really tired each day..
it seems that im more tired than i was suppose to be . Each time i went home the only thing i did was sleep for half and hour study for more than and hour or soo and on computer. Thats all, i dint have time to work like last year or even go out to any places at all..
Yesterday my cousin came home from camp and told me to add him at facebook thn he went into his room and chatted with me. WTH! We are in the same house and its like a few steps from each other and we are chatting. Haiyah!
yesterday went pjc and im soo not changing my decisions to going jc cos i guess tht its not happening at all it was really boring me up and i could actually suffer there i think ..
Soo then altered skirt and had apple pie at mac's cc .. then homed .
today im freak tired, i just woke and im here feeling like want to faint ..
this days i've been having nightmare's its really scary .. i dreamt bout i tfor two days straight and i get bumps on me everytime i dream like tht .. soo im sorry if you receive msgs from me late nyte cos im really scared .. this is when i miss my nenek soo much man . if there's her i can sleep with her and it is less scary la ..
met this cute boy ystrday after counselling at cck interchange. he was eating ice cream and then he dropped it .. he was soo angry and ate his grandma's one but only took the biscuits and left the ice cream for the grand mother. and today saw him again in the bus gobbling his candy.. soo adorable.

2010-01-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 3RD YEAR SDFS !!! WOHOO!!
okay so all of you really rocks my years in secondary school
and we will never depart okay.

soo thts all
im in no mood to post at all .
(:

2010-01-05T01:38:00.000-08:00

these few days i notice something wrong with me
i cant feel things, i dun have feelings to what happen
things tht happen make me stress but i dunno y i cant feel anger, sad , happy or whatsoever
why eh ?? is it a spell or something
really im not joking
all that i could feel is tired and stress thts all
my body feels like its a computer its either im stress or tired like hell
all i want is sleep .. >.<

havent been working these days
omg my pay is gonna be really small cos of this
i really cant find a free time to work
i get really tired when i finish school or maybe during school
i keep getting tired and i dunno how im gonna work like tht
guess im gonna quit sooner tht the date that i planned too

one thing i would really like to know is how to make my body react with what happen
i know tht i myself needs to control my body but it is diffirent now
i cant do it .. when im suppose to be angry, all i felt was tired
when im suppose to be hurt , all i want is sleep
what's this ?? oh noo my bod what happen sia
dunno y i understand maths today , really i would have slept but dunno y im awake
but i know im tired
i dunno what im talking now ..
):

p/s: finally eh say hii to me tought u just want to keep quiet ..
i cant feel my body .... ); URGH!!

2009-12-31T21:13:00.000-08:00

happy new year !

to all those who gave me the wishes thank you

not tht i dint wan to reply but i was asleep already

haahaa sleeping while countdown.. (:

soo yesterday wasnt nice it was my really bad really really bad

soo morning wake up and realise tht mum went for the funeral w/o me

but good thing she went with dad.. like it or not she have to go with him cos there's gonna be

relatives at the funeral and it wont be nice if they dont go together

so i went dance instead of the funeral cos mum say tht im gonna be a nuisance later

wth ! soo bad .. then after dance went home straight cos need to take care of brother

irritating kid .. then mum called me to meet her at jp

soo i rushed cos i had like 3 more hours before work

then did everything and all get my brother ready and off to jp

then ate at banquet .. ate tomyam which was super duper sweet for me its not nice and

only ate the ikan bilis other went to dad's stomach

he dint like the food too

soo the food was wasted it was still full in the bowl

then saw sabrina and the blue nails .. woah !

then mummy wanted to go home badly soo we went off

then bought famous amos .. ate all and left like only 5 piece for the others

hahaaa .. thn off to work

it was the most dreadful day at work cos there's this new guy

not really new he worked there for like umm 2 weeks or maybe longer

but all he knew was to sent ice water and do things only went told too

soo irritating all the staffs there were irritated by hym

this whats make me like slapping hym

me : can give 6 ice water to table 3 (rushing)

irritating guy : huh , table 6, 3 ice water uh ??

me : nono table 3 , 6 ice water

irritating guy : uh table 3 and 6 ice water uh ??

me : haiyah .. table 3 , 6 ice water la !! ( shouting )

irritating guy : ouh okay okay

me : ( sighing )

after 5 mins i came back to the table and saw that there is no ice water at all .. such a waste

of my breathe .. and during closing tyme i told hym to mop the floor

he said " uhhhh " then walk and 15 mins later after i took last order cleared all the cups and

brought in all the jugs he still dint mop and i heard hym saying to a new

partimer girl tht i gave hym too much work

tht tyme i was damn pissed lah

and i took the mop and mop the floor myself

to tht guy ah plss if you dun like to mop i let you know one thing this is part of your job

pls stop complaining cos if you dont wan to do all tht you might as well quit

cos you're pissing me all the tyme and not only me but the others too

and dun tell me tht all the 2 weeks tht you've been working you only know to serve ice water

omg you're 18 and all you know is to do tht pls

dun complain cos all this is part of your work

urghh!! if i see you again i make sure im going to cancel my shift tht day

i cant stand working with you who likes to complain on their duty

others also complain but still they did their job

you ??

pissed off man .. i dun wish to see you again today

2009-12-24T03:16:00.000-08:00

so now i know why you wanted to break up really badly

its not tht u're migrating but you have someone else

i dunno what i did wrong but i knew from the start tht you werent serious bout us at all ryte

from the very start .. nvm im not angry nor am i trying to be

i know it alredy those lies and everything all tht i can even think of

you really did lie to me really did and tht hurts but i promise tht its

not gonna bother me at all cos

im labelling you as a jerk and hypocrite and it will never change

eventhough how much i still love you

i hope you're happy with your new honey and i never wish to see you again

dont come back in life telling you're sorry or even telling tht

you dint mean it tht way cos you lied and liars are still liars..

zulqarnyne before you get me in your trap again get things ryte in your head

tht no one's gonna like a playboy and no one will if you dint change

pls do change thts the last thing i ask for

i never cried for u now eventhough i know tht i was cheated

cos i dont want to care now

today had great time with my 2emerald'08 mates

celebrated my belated bdae.. they were suprising cos i thought that there was only four of us but

then all 10 was there

great! thanks for the presents, cakes and laughters guys

ate pastamania and it was yumyum

then went to courts and watched the korean music video tht sab really adore's so much

dint know tht zaki likes it too

hahaa then took pictures with macbook

cool! muke paling merepek is sabrina..

hahaa..

2009-12-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

birthday on 21st was rather suckish but alright la

soo evening went to sent food for brother..

on my way there my manager called and told me to come to workplace

and soo i did after sending the food

and guess what i get to eat free food there. i ordered anyhting i want and i get my speciality drink which is my mellow mango. ahh soo nice..

then i slacked there till night and followed manager go fing beef bacon

there was no beef and he wanted to take the pork and i was like ??

crazy manager .. then meet faizul at jp to lepak nearby

had fun time with hym walking in the night and finding place to sit

the park there has lots of rats and they can climb on seats

so those who go there at night beware cos they like to run around and scare people like me

and the rats are damn big

soo went home w/o brother cos i took mrt and he took bus

and when i got home brother told me tht heleft the food i brought at work

and he dint even taste it

stupid waste my freaking energy la you

so then at night i wanted to sleep but thn texted zulqarnyne and he gave me this bad news

he said tht he will be migrating to london and tht he wont be back

i was sad like duh and we broke off

bt i was happy tht when i asked did he love me the way he said it he said 'yes'

cool man ! soo to zulqarnyne hasyhm thank you very much for those moments

and i will be studying hard real hard and find you at london okay..

heee go london find you thts my mission
i dun wan to let you go ok but i have to since u ask

then ystrday met a friend and he gave me a teddy bear and 2 boxes of chocolates the teddy bear was really soft and i slept with it last night. really like the teddy bear. thank you! after meeting friend went west coast with daddy and the whole food court was closed see how tired i was then morning had dance then went out and thn he brought me to a place which is far and dissaponting then we ran to catch the 188 bus to alif to eat and we were singing songs over empty stomachs thn off home and yah thts it.. meeting sdf tmorow at cck park.. hehee..

2009-12-20T06:05:00.000-08:00

today went to work and im the only one working

fcuk!

umm so friday went to bugis with sab and bought things and sab bought me blue nail watever

it is called

and it's BLUE oi

thank you soo much sayang kau

we went to bugis junction to find posb and sampled this chewy thing

sab's idea

it was damn the nice

saw rian there

the way to find directions is to ask salesperson

hehee

then ate burger king

then shop and homed

but webt iluma b4 tht. got this promoter who gave a brochure on slimming

hahaa

thn at home did nothing

ysterday went out meet people

cried and talked

and tht person was fun

today im really moody like hell

zul told me thth he is migrating and im damn sad cos if i know i would have like..

ahh, my zul, one after another

after me you

damn it

my bdae tmrw and i get this bad news

i dun feel like celebrating it anway now cos all i want is to see you not to see you go

urgh

2009-12-16T03:12:00.000-08:00

making my days worthwhile this days
so catched 'new moon' with this kid

heehee, kid last monday

and really enjoyed my day

tht kid really made me feel soo much more relieved knowing tht

there's always someone to help me when i fall

soo ysterday went counselling then movie marathon

some were like not watching movie but concentrating on food

me too did tht

so watched stan helsing and it was super fun

heehee, fun ke pe

then papadom and this ghost story

disgusting..

muz's brought most of the vcds so blame hym if we catched those unnecessary ones

today went counselling again then went jp shopping

i shopped alone and spent like 200+

omg im a spendthrift i know

but it really makes me happy

soo i do what makes me happy

tmrw will be going malay dance thn bugis i think thn marina to celebrate syeqal bdae

hahaa

soo will be enjoying tmrw with syeqal

im missing you.

been days since i texted you

i know tht ur home today from ur holidays

but i dun wan to disturb u now cos i know tht u're still tired

i really want to see you

but idk how to tell you tht i really miss you

2009-12-13T19:49:00.001-08:00

was feeling down yesterday and i went for work with no mood

but 3 things happen and the last one made my day

1. this guy was really irritating complaining cos there's no more mushroom soup

2. i get $5 tips

3. i saw a boy around 3 yrs old and he winks at me whenever i pass him.

his face is like jackjack in 'the incredibles'

and i get to hold hym when he was about to leave.

but i forgot to ask his name.

aaahh... he soo cute

reached home and watch the p.ramlee show

and then went to sleep around 1

going to movies later with my friend

but not sure yet

cant wait for later cos i really want to see

but he see it already and he says tht its ok if he catch it twice.

my teeth's bleeding again

urgh

i have to go to school someday to change the uniform cos the shirt's big and the skirts small

troublesome

2009-12-11T20:54:00.000-08:00

i wish life could be easy

but when its too easy there seems to not be any fun

i wish i never fall in love

its really difficult to be in love

the sacrifice

whats more if he doesnt appreciates and mocks you when u try b caring..

its not easy to b here waiting all day

actually tht happen to girls only

how i wish i cld be boy

soo today plans are go work and meet someone after tht.

nothing intresting really.

i want to thank kak murni for helping me out at times when i feel like talking

thank you soo much

eventhough ive yet to take action but

i know 1 day i will.

thanks!

and to t****q thanks for being able to listen to me all night long

guess u must be tired from last night

but u are really nice

2009-12-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

soo HAPPY ONE MONTHSARRY!

to zulqarnyne, eventhough its hard for me to see and tolk to you

eventhough for just one sec, i strive those moments cos i know that i love you.

thanks for being there for me this morning when i couldn't sleep

eventhough its only awhile but it really makes me really happy to be able to be in touch with u

you were really nice..

now i know that i can really trust you and i really

hope tht im not wrong to trust you now..

remember the promise tht both us made, keep it in your heart whenever we miss one another..

2009-12-05T04:28:00.000-08:00

i dun really have the mood to anything nor say anything or even to post anything.. maybe next time.. ):

i really need a chocoloate peppermint..

i really can't believe you would be like this. jus when things get better you change again.. why is it difficult to be like the others do... tomorrow's one month but i dun know if you remember or if even cared..

2009-11-26T21:31:00.000-08:00

soo everyone's going raya cept me and fam.

how it feels nice to be in the olden days where everything were just alright..

okay so lets talk bout the sweet things first.

sweetest thing today

IM STAYING HERE TILL NEXT YEAR AFTER O'S!

tuesday: went out alone. diyanah dont feel bad bout this,

cos i know what u are facing ryte now.

soo went to my fav. place where i usually went when i feel like letting things out.

and i cried alot there cos i realise tht things arent sweet for long in my life.

spend time there for 5 hours alone.

i dint want to go home cos i know dad is coming back and that it isnt gonna be pleasant.

so yeah. asked zul along but yeah, he's ever busy. well i understand.

then went to lot 1 to meet brother and went home straight. like a waste of time.

and we went home walking somemore. urrgh.

thats not the sweetest thing at all.

wednesday: went to work. reach like 30 mins early and got free cheesecake.

then workwork saw murni eat my workplace so yeah. i actually talked to her while working.

then made for her drink but drank some.

haahaaa. sdp kn...

then saw the guys who was there .

then when murni finish her food i continued talking to her.. hahaa.

the manager was kind tht he dint mind at all.

then after work get free cheesecake again then homed.

thursday:went vivo early in the morning. met nab, murni and afifah at cck. suppose to met 1130 but we end up boarding the bus at 12+.

went there for job interview. reached there waited for afifah's aunt then mus came.

me dint want to apply actually cos afterall i have a job already.

but just went in case i get like some opp.

soo the others went for the job cept me and mus.

then went to ripcurl shop and off to eat.

after eating and laughing and talking, took 188 to shuhadah's house for movie marathon.

188 is a real roller coaster ride. soo anyone who wants real fun ride

just take 188 to and fro.

reached shu's house late arnd 4+ and the movie started and when i was about to see, the movie ended like this, a man got killed and the woman got shot. that's all tht i know. no background info at all.

then went down to the pasar malam to get food. funny man.

people are really noisy there especially the indian guy and the apek.

iffah, ameera, shu and me were laughing like mad.

had lots of fun.

then went up to continue the marathon.

watch papadom, paranormal activity (the one tht i saw at before), wujud (the xtras only).

then went lot 1 to find shu's mum present. went bodyshop but too over budget.went bhg but nothing intresting. then went courts and decided on water heater. then went minitoons to wrap it. thn home.

the bitter sweet things second

soo, i get to text him this days. he has like kinda be more contactable. and the sweet thing to me is that he want to meet me yesterday. the bitter thing is that he wants to meet at 8 a.m at his place, macpherson.

i've never woke up earlier thn 11. at most 10+.

soo i said i cant.

ahh, feel so sad tht i cant meet him.

told him to make it at night or mayb evening but thn he's busy .

he's becoming sweeter and funny this days.

hope he's always like this.

today, dint have any sms from him cos i know he mayb busy.

cos yeah today's hari raya.

i hope he would be like this more often.

ps: those stories bout you, i hope it aint true cos u've promised me. and i've

sacrificed for you.

2009-11-22T21:13:00.000-08:00

Love all the 2 emeralds'08 soo much. Cant believe sdf broke out badly at mr kaan's house. Ahh, how could i make them cry. Im sorry babes.

so friday: went to mr kaan's house. met the memebers at clementi mrt. sab eh lambat. then waited for the emeralds malay boys and off to take bus but alighted at the wrong stop so have to walk. but not that far. then ordered pizza and talked alot with sdf and i shared with them what i've been waiting to share. that was the moment i dont like cos i made them cry. then waited for the pizza which was super long. then when the pizza arrive we ate and quickly left for changi airport. haa. went changi airport like a no life kid. fariza stopped at tanah merah. then when the others arrive at changi airport, we went to the budget terminal for like less then 15 mins and then went back to to terminal 2. haahaa. then went to terminal 3 before tht watched the watever board where the numbers and letters will change when the plane went off. like never see before. then at terminal 3 zul and diyanah went home. the others were walking and browsing shops and then went to viewing place. then saw nothing. then off to candy empire and saw this sports shop so went in and saw this super nice nike bag. im going to get tht no matter what. then off to mac'c and ate, mcspicy and mcnuggets. ahh, soo nice. then off home. played the stepping game was jumping on coloured tiles till we reach the mrt and took the travellator like never before. then me,sab,muz and irfan went lot 1 accompany irfan buy his earpiece. then talktalk jokejoke go here go there then home.

saturday; followed brother to pasar malam then took 975 at the other side which means we went 1 whole round before reaching home. when the bus reach this creepy area, it stop and open the doors but there's no one who is boarding. it was really scary cos there was only me and my brother in the bys. then when reach the end it stopped for a really long time. really long and the driver was looking at us. we were showing the 'we dont know anything' face. hahaa then when the bus make its way back we were asleep in the bus till we reach home.

sunday: worked 2 shifts, night and day. was tiring but had ample fun. dunno why. and at last i was able to contact him this time.

2009-11-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

todays the perforamance but no ones's supporting me. not my family and not anyone. it really feels sad that there's no one on the crowd tht im eager to see.

yesterday had dance pract. and then went off to eat maggie with nab and murni.

i treated them cos i've got nothing better to do.

saw sab and fariza during practice.

i seriously am in no mood for the performance at all.

everything is just not right at this point of time.

ps: how wish i could shorten the 1 week tht you gave cos its pretty long.

2009-11-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

its really hurting to see the future being ruined and stuffs tht really shows tht sometimes things are just soo bad. i cant stop thinking about this things and its really difficult too.

wake up with a headache cos i dint get much sleep and the stress

are really piling up.

mum wake me up at 9+ to go and check my pay.

was damn tired but she was soo begging...

urgh then went to bpp to check my pay twice to satisfy her tht its not in yet.

she is soo irritating when it comes to money.

had icecream and bought a nike jacket.

stress leaver no. 1 is too shop like never before even though you have no money.

i used her cash card to buy the jacket. basket!

was walking tiredly home from bpp.

i really have no energy to even walk anymore so stomp my feet all the way home. haaha.

working today and actually dont feel like going at all.

im really stress at this point of time. i cant share it with anyone and i feel so lonely. sometimes happiness does not long and it is always short for me. i dont understand why i had to go through all this hardships... i really dont and how i wish i could have someone who would understand and be with me giving me a helping hand to go through this.

ps: i really love u soo much. thts all tht i can say to you cos it all comes to those three words.

2009-11-16T03:25:00.000-08:00

had a really dreadful day to day. damn tiring but fun at the same time. had dance pract. from 10 to 3+ then went to westmall to buy things and teman nab make her stuffs. hehee, sweet per kau?.... meet sab, fariza and diyanah today during comb. rehearsal. how i really miss them. i dunno how to tell u guys bout my problem. hmmph, friday je la k... had fun with sab today teasung diyanah tht we saw her stuffs.. hahaa, actually we saw nothing.. miss her and the others too. at westmall, bought ribbons and went to accompany nab. i realised tht mufiidah was missing by then and ask the others bout her and they said they dint know. i dint realise she texted me cos my phone was in my bag. i only realise when its too late i think. dint reply her cos prepaid was long. i feel soo guilty. im soo sorry. then of home with nab and murni. was joking around in bus. hahaa. rambut afro, the straight version kepe. then homed, fought with brother and then ate spaghetti. the sauce was too sweet cos mum dint put pepper or and spices. cannot telan man...

i am waiting for someone to text me. i dint text u cos i know u r gonna b busy like what u said yesterday. soo, im still waiting...

i dont know what i shld do now...i was really hurt but ur harsh words towards me yesterday. sometimes when people say harsh things, they dont realise. but it really hurts to hear u say tht u're tired of thinking. does tht mean tht u r tired of us? i cried every night thinking how i missed and when i am going to mit u again... really, sometimes it gets too hard for me and u are sometimes not understanding me... that kept me thinking a lot.

whenever i texted u, it took soo long for u to reply me, sometimes u dont at all. im really trying my best to understand and b patient with u. and i guess it works wonders... i dont like it when u say tht u are not fit to b mines cos i dun care if your attitude is bad or soo as long as u keep your heart to me. i really love you and thts all tht matters to me, nothing else. no one is perfect. i afraid to lose and not b able to see u agian thts why sometimes i get fired up when u are not able to meet me. but its okay cos i know tht u're busy too. try being in my place bie, its really really hard for me to go through this alone. i love u and no one else... remember how u told me to promise tht we are going to make this last long no matter what happens? i will always remember it....
i ♥ u...

2009-11-14T03:13:00.000-08:00

tired, stressed and all thats not pleasant.

yestrday, went for dance pract. then was supposed to mit zul at town but was cancelled. then asked mufiidah to go to town but when the mrt reaches clementi, went bck to cck to meet zul. last minute plan. sorry mufiidah. then ate mac's with her and talk2 until like 7+. gosh, he was taking his sweet time coming to cck when he is only at bb. then wanted to go bodyshop but then he arrive. urgh.... had a great time yesterday until the night around 9+ or mayb 10. i told him abt the things that are happening now and he seems upset. it makes me upset to see him like that what more my friends and family that i may have to leave behind. theres alot of things tht i need to let go in this short period of time. its really difficult. he made me felt better last night asking me to be strong and all. but its sometimes uncontrollable... i have till nxt week onlywhich is like on 22nd nov. i wish i could spent more time with my love ones. i have yet to tell my besties abt ths, scared thth i may cry on the spot. shld wait for the bbq to tell so tht i have to tell it only once... how complicated can this be?....

mitting dad soon and i guess i need to ask him bout the plans now. idk what to say to him? i want to stay badly... ):

today went dance prac. again then off to causeway to look for job for mum and bro. wah! both of them got it at causeway. haahaa... im a good luck charm....haaaa.... im gonna miss moments like ths when im away... ahhh... mum was so insising on eating at kfc so went banquet the after that she bought takeaway at kfc for my lil brother. wth! then off home... mum is irritating when she ask questions again and again. she keeps asking if she fits size m and im like 'no' and she kept asking it and i finally said 'yes'. act slim only...

2009-11-10T23:07:00.000-08:00

sometimes people wants to make things such a big deal
but its themselves who needs to control it and nobody can tell what they shld do
hmm... sometimes, its difficult to control ourselves but we need too..
thats what make it difficult.

just came back from dance practice and talktalk with nab and murni. then homed. mum was asking me for job again. and im like, 'pegi la carik sendiri'. she said ' ala, malas sey nk klua'. soo pemalas, want to find job but lazy to go out. no life eh. working later. omg, im soo tired. yesterday's work was suckish. people begin to hate the supervisor la like seriously she is so arrogant ang ignorant la. i mean yes, we need to follow instructions from you but dun pull us when we are doing our job and start taking over the task can? if like thth might as well you do everything. urghh!!
planning to go somewhere during holidays but schedules are too tight and its really difficult to fit in time for some other things. there's alot of things to get this month. and i dont know when im going to save? my savings is $1. no progress since last month. hahaa, i need someone to control my spenditure but if we're to let my mum handle it, it means there's nothing that i can spend. ahhh... life is difficult, i cant deny.

ps: sometimes its difficult to understand long-distance relationship but i dont know how to accept it when problem arises due to the distance between us. its difficult but at the same time, there is space for us both to breath. soo, is it good or is it bad?

2009-11-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

today had rock-climbing. did well i think for the level 1. had fun at the place.
after lunch, me and diyanah took the stairs up to level 5 which was like at level 10 la, cos we thought the lift was not working as they put a sign stating its under maintainence. but when we reach the level, the lif was actually working. wah! super tired already sia.
dint get to mit zul. ):
sab, ur eyes are contagius cos my eyes are redenning too. ahh!!!

2009-11-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

these few days things are getting better in life. firstly my dad allow me to stay here until HIS further plans. Hahaa great! I shouldnt be happy bout this but the fact that he let me stay is like a load of great news. Secondly, im not getting bored at home cos im occupied with things to do and im not going to be sad or angry most of the time which is good, right? thirsly, i can forget him already and it feels great cos i dont need to think about u anymore. lastly, in no more single to do anything.

worked 8 hours yesterday. WOW! my first time working overtime and its so super tiring. there's a lot of new people and i nd to like make new friends again. but they were geat. enjoyable dudes. then went home late from usual cos i took my own time to eat then i dont chase for the bus like i always do. its tiring to run for buses especially 180 cos its like on the other end of the interchange. Stupid eh! otp home. when i reached home, i went straight to sleep. damn tired and now im suppose to be at work but im too tired to even get out the house.

2009-11-05T04:04:00.000-08:00

heyllos.
back from desaru camp yesterday. a day earlier jus becos there's no water there as the pipe broke. soo merepek. had little fun at camp. but enjoyed teaching the students there. they were super duper cute. pic's are all at sab's camera. hahax. our bunk was soo the bad. and us 4 were scared so we bath and sleep closely together. whenits time for lights off, sdfs were chatting and taking pictures and laughing. hahax. diyanah and me have difficulty sleeping cos we not used to aircon. she wake me up in the morning to accompany her go toilet. hahax.
then did cip the next day which was touching and fun. miss someone while doing cip and at night. then when we were told tht we were going home a day earlier. we were stun cos its such a waste tht we went only for 2 day 1 night camp and most people bring big bags for nothing. then when reach singapore we had dinner at food culture lot 1 then off home. mummy was soo bad scaring me saying tht me look scary and the place tht we stayed has a lot of ghost. bad momma. then wash up and sleep.
today wake at 11+ text diyanah to go marina. so off to marina at 2 then walk2.we failed in taking picture. stopped by a man otw to marina. he surveyed me on a job tht is payed at 9k per month. wow! i was stunned. hehee. eat ice cream along the way there. then went off to queensway to lokk for diyanah's slippers and have mcspicy. heehee. at mcdonalds 2 people talked to me. first an ite guy who ask my number for his friend. seen tht guy before cos he come to my workplace before for interview. when he asked my no. i wanted to run but the later diyanah left behind so sat there only.then the 2nd person an african guy who was walking up the stairs to mac's when we were about to go to ikea. he was like ''ohh lord ,you're beautiful" and i was like ''thankyou''. then the face was like irritating cos he was shocking man. funny face. shld have taken his picture. hten of to ikea to find diyanah's mum's carpet but her mum say no need. then off home. the mrt was stopping when it wasabt to reach each stop. irritating cos me wanted to use toilet badly. then when reach lot 1 ran to toilet. hahaa. then saw shasha in the toilet. hee. then went home.
home nothing to do. tired but out of things to occupy me.

2009-11-01T04:08:00.000-08:00

hahax, felt so stupid yesterday. went to mac'cafe right to buy my double choc frappe, then the guy who made the frappe was cute so looked at him la. then he was like busy doing the drinks and all. so i waited patiently. then when he handed me the frappe he asked for my number and ran away. idk why i ran. everytime when gguys do those things i run away. but i regret running cos he was cute. ahhh.....
went to work and yes slack again. then manager let me eat when im not suppose too. hahaa. me only. not fair i know but i was hungry. really hungry so i ordered 1 set meal. hahax. bastard me.
then homed and pack things for desaru. then text dude till like the whole evening. i reallyy had nothiing to do man.
read a book that i borrowed titled ' born blue' damn nice la. the girl in the story was a pitiful one. her mum was down woth heroin and she was sold for heroin. then she make up a new name and live her life alone running away from houses tht she was put at. and she had passion for singing. she gave birth to child when she was 13 cos she was drunk and on drugs when she was taken of her dignity. then she gave the baby to the father of the child and promise to come back for her baby. she went to many places to start anew. then she found her mum again but her mum was diagnosed with AIDS already and was dying. she didnt accep at first but eventually did. then her mum died and when she wanted to get her child back she retreated as she saw the child had a good life then and she didnt want her child to be like her or her mother. she left her child and didnt take her but she cried for that.
it was sad at the last part. hee. good book.
k ive got not much to share jus bored sick of being home broke.
):

2009-10-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

im bored angry today. hee.
anyways, school is over. yay! last three days of school, me and sab become real lesbos. hahax. spent like the whole day with her making cupcorns and becoming successful businesswoman. hahax, missing syeqal man. hahax dngn kau nye merepk tu. hahax.
today had malay dance. then i heard the band playing while walking up to the library. thought of ifnding sab but dint see her at all. haha, y the hell was i looking for her? been with her for 3 days straight. miss her i think. then had malay dance. i was happy that i remembered steps quick. wow! impressive, first time oi im like that. proud of you sulaiha!
then off to work. damn tired while working so stayed indoors most of the time doing nothing but drink rootbeer. shiokxzs! then last hour walk in and out of the restaurant. haa, no life me. then went off to lot 1 for pastamania with mum and older brother. mum wanted pastamania soo much and so i become her angel. then bought frappe for her. hee. now, im broke. damn it. mummy was sick thats why i pity her and gave what she wanted. hee. then when want to take bus, saw nabila and mufiidah. mum become a no life kid and caled out mufiidah's name. no life man. but cute la. then off home.
you, i want you to give me what you have taken from me. seriously, those words of yours really hurts but i dun really care no more. what i want is my stuff. get it? im never forgiving you this time cos you've gone really above the limit. damn, you cant mock at me all day you know. you think im a dog or what? do you like it if say vulgarities to you ALL day? think for yourself, you think you're that good a guy. damn, you should know that im never loving you anymore. you dont deserve my love and concern or even respect. you should be treat like dogs on the streets. then would you realise what you have done to others. those people whom you mock at. what a good for nothing guy are you. urgh! you're getting on my nerves. thank god i did accept you this time. hahax.

ps: will be going desaru in afew days time and rock climbing is what ive been waiting for. sorry, dont want to change the days cos i want to be with myfriends as much as i want to see you. hee. nice to be knowing you actually. you are a great entertainer and a nice person.

sometimes we do have to let go
and now i am
accepting every bit of the happenings
in my life.
not regretting.
but to feel sad is not something
that i cant do. crying makes me
lot more calmer. however i keep remembering you,
l learn to keep it only as memoirs of you and me.

2009-10-27T01:38:00.000-07:00

jus got back frm seoul garden with 2 emerald'08. and my mum have just reached causeway. wow, i went home and she went out. feeling cos its been a day out, and i will be going to work later. freaking tired man. i wishednthat there is someone who could accompany me and make me lees tired but enjoy the day instead of complaining. can someone help me iron my uniform? please....
ate alot today at seoul garden. bought irfan cake cos we dint get to do so the last saturday. so he was kinda suprised cos he dint know when i bought the cake. haa, tepranjat tk? magic kn aku. had fun with them. and when its time to go home, people gets missing tons of times. its quite irritating cos people are everywhere. even irfan was left behind at the 3rd floor when everyone went down to the 2nd floor. haiyah...
then took 187 home with diyanah. didnt talk much cos i am freaking tired really, damn tired. dont intend to bath at all. penat la, nanti blek baru mandi. im planning to slack at work today and leave all the task to the others. haahaa. im not that mean la. joking only.

i dont want to see you. really. you are only after me for money? i dun understand why you have to lie and how long more are you going to go on. you are nothing to me anymore ok, get a life. you are not schooling what, why not work? that way you dont have to rely on girls to give you money. arent you ashame doing that?i cant stand you anymore. you are getting way to much. just freaking hell, get away from me.

2009-10-26T04:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes its just difficult to predict what's going to happen. i had this dream that you are together with your bestfriend and walking in front of me holding hands and anything but looking as just friends. woah! but it was only a dream. actually it will damn hurt to see that.
today, i am a no life kiddo! went to school and the first thing to know is that i PASS english. Aaaaaaaaaahhh. What a relief man. nasib baik. then after english didnt pay attention to anyone or anything, just enjoying myelf. after school went lot 1. sab and fariza bought food culture. diyanah went home to tapao her mum's cookings. me went to food culture but i have no idea what i want to eat. so end up didnt buy food for myself. then i decided want to eat mcspicy. in my mind i was thinking how delicious it is to eat mcspicy. i remembered the first time eating mcspicy. sedap giler, hingga membakar lidah. but when reach mac's dint buy mcspicy but bought frappe. hahahaaa. then took lrt and off to fariza house with diyanah who took lrt at keat hong. then eat at fariza house. me drink frappe and sab's rootbeer. then quickly go out to school again. take cab. actually me and sab has no business aat school. we went to school to buy orange juice and then talktalk then look at the pe noticeboard then go home. No life kiddo! actually we can go straight home from fariza's house but hearing that fariza and diyanah are taking cab to school and fariza blanje the ride, like fun (free ride oi!)...
then me and sab took 985 home. when reached home, first thing i did was on switch on the tv and fan but lay on the sofa and sleep. hahaaa. waste electricity. once in a lifetime tkpe la....
wake at 6+. then bathe and eat peanut butter.yumyum!
i've plans for tomorrow. woah, 1 week of working oi this week. penat toot eh. nvm get to eat nice food for dinner the whole week. yay!

HAPPY B'DAE IRFAN IMAN!!

eh, you not you. YOU! i dunno what to say. we together or not like the same. you know right i'm not intrested in us. i mean i told you already that im lazy to layan you. like you said we are like not together cos im lazy to meet you, text you or even to pick up your calls. but i told you in the first place already and you said dun mind about it. so not my fault kalau tk text you. im not playing with your feelings cos i told you beforehand that im not intrested and you keep wanting to. to tell you the truth, me to think that we are like not together. if i text you also, i end up getting scolded by you. tk kesian ke? you mock your own girlfriend just like that. i mean if its just words like 'bastard' and 'selenge' tu masih le accept ah but if you say me all that f** words do you think im gona like you if you're like that. i meet you that one time also you dont layan me until i can sleep when i meet you and you dont even care. waste time tau. sorry , tetido that time... so it s up to you. to me, we are not together cos it feels just the same. and dun be angry cos i've told you before we together that i dun want to be what we are now. im sorry... im just not ready to start a new relationship. really, i jus want to clear things my mind first. i hope you understand. and actually, i know that you're two timing me now. how i know? tell me who called you that time? you were afraid that i would know that you are going out with another girl. i know cos the way you speak tells me everything. dun be afraid cos i never told anyone that we are even togeher. so its still gonna be the same like before. im not angry cos i knew it all along. i just want to see how you could live lieing to me again. this is not the first time. i cant bear it any longer to keep everything in me anymore. you are way too much. do you like it if i have another boyfriend like you have now?thank allah, cos i dint fall in your trap for the second time.

2009-10-25T01:52:00.000-07:00

went to work late. i was an hour and 15mins++ late. ya allah, so late. then when want to go home, i requested more food and people give.. hee, jahat aku. then caalled mum when want to go home but end up getting scolded for no reason. is it wrong to call your own mother. wth. now i know why dad is like that. then i was pissed so went home straight. then reach home get scolded again cos i forget to wash my feet. its 'forget' heloo... then now she tired of scolding while im pissed and dont wish to listen to her she go to sleep. good, peaceful. need to finish up the shoelace. urgh.. im pissed. kene marah no reason. geram sey..

2009-10-24T05:52:00.001-07:00

just came bck from diyanah's house. im soo tired. did the shoelace and took 67 homed. before that went vivo with family. the first few hours were great, no fights no shouts. all fine. until the time when we were about to go home. fight la, shout la. alamak, i requested the family outing so that it will make them both together agian but end up fight again. then i was so bingit then went home then looked for my paint and the shoelace and quickly went out.

urgh, life is super difficult. and i heard that 10 people failed english. oooo, im really scared man. what if....

now at home. mum go out too syarahan. i forgot that i was suppose to follow her. nvm, im angry with her anyway. tmrw work and im going to sleep. its been long since i get to sleep. really, i only sleep for 3 or 4 hours lately. penat you know.

2009-10-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

it is really hard for me to get you off my mind
okay, i've accepted this
actually im not thinking that much
like the previous days
but to see you makes me happy
but the fact that i cant touch or be near you
really makes me miss you
i dont wish to be ignored
nor do i want to ignore you...

jus got back from seoul garden. really bloated. i went straight to the toilet as soon as i got home. today, it wasnt that great a day. failed bio which means loss the com science, then com humanities also no hope. maths really out of chances. but i passed my literature. thats good but it brings me no where if i didnt pass english... i really want to promote. really want to.
if only i could change time, i wouldnt have gone out that night before chemistry. argh..):
today, people keep giving me shocking news. really shocking ones. i dunno what to say, i dunno if i should believe. i dunno if i should ignore either. i know it hurts to just ignore. but i dunno what to do.
after malay dance, went home to change. nab and kak murni followed me home. nab bath at my house. wah... then talked alot about life and love and family. really, lots to talk.
and i want to tell afifah, cheer up babe. there is always someone waiting there for you. eventhough im not close to you but i know what it feels like. hee...
tmrw going vivo with family. at last have a family outing. a request fulfilled by both parents. its been long since we go out as a family, miss those moments. but i feels hurtful to know that the family is soon to be gone. i cant make my mind. i want to make mum happy but it feels hard to live with dad. can i live alone? easy kan decision dia.
ahhh.... tired, stressed, depressed, hurt.... everuthing except happy...
i want my family and my life back...
):

2009-10-21T08:34:00.001-07:00

seems like a morning to me now. jus come bck from work. felt like updating. today, i got bck my results.thanks allah i pass sastera. i was really scared bout it. bt i fail chem. DAMN! i studied like hell la. it jus becos of that guy i cnt focus that day and i flung. could you hurt me later like seriously ah, if it wasnt for u i wouldnt have gone out the night before and then cos me not to revise. so i had no sleep and the paper could be easy. im reallly disappointed cos i dint pass. really am. and its all becos of you. how i wish i pass. u jus ruined my chance of passing com science. ):
aft school went causeway with diyanah and fariza. hee. then went to lot 1. bought d24 durian puff. heavenly oi! sedap! then off home. then worked. woke up feeling tired before work. dunno why. jus feel so.
had great time today.
thought of going out tomorrow btu no place and no one place to go with.
well that's about it .
):

flung my test becos of you
i dunno if i should blame you
but i was really sure that i could pass
if we didnt have to be what we are now.
URGH! im soo depressed
my exams, family problem, YOU!
this is beginning to hurt.`
but im missing you
):

2009-10-20T03:57:00.000-07:00

ahh, got it from sab's blog. hee, my house.
i miss the emerald's

watched 500 days of summer with sab and diyanah at orchard cineleisure. wanted to watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs- 3D but tk jadi lag. two times tk jadi. ): how i really want to see it. but the movie that we watched were touching. the girl reminds me of you. at that point i really wish things could get back to where it is. but i accepted it. love does not always end with 'happily ever after' right. well maybe not for you but me.

send mum to her checkup today. then after waiting for her, we were finding the kopitiam but end up going round the hospital. me eat nasi goreng pataya and yong tau foo. mum was jus looking and then we talked about the secrets betwn her and my dad. now i know why dad hasnt been in touch with the family anymore. i was disappointed with dad. i duno wether i shld hate or jus be right what i used to feel. but its difficult. as much as mum dun want to share. the same goes for me. now i have to sacrifice and follow you for the sake of the family. now i know why it all ends up to me. cos im the most nearest to dad and i believe dad so much. now, i dunno. i cant share with bro cos mum say not to cos she's afraid its goona affect his 'o' level. so it all lies to me again to follow you. but them im goona be separated from mum and also bro and nenek and abang. i dunno if i could do it. well i jus need time.

i dunno why my happiness does not last long. when i fall, i fall really badly. i've lost my boyfriend and now maybe my family or maybe jus dad. i really hope dad changes not for us ur children but mum too. now that i know the whole story, its hard for me to get along with it without the other siblings knowing it.

sometimes thigns doesnt side with me.

maybe all the time

2009-10-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

was awaken by mum's shouting today. she was blabbering on my gaji which is yet to be in my bank. damn it, 5 days of waiting for the pay. then she said she wants to go out

mummy: ehk ma nk klua
me: uhh (still sleeping)
mummy: want me to check your gaji tk
me: tkyah nanti orang klua
mummy: ma tinggal duit nanti bli nasi ayam
me:umm
nenek: mcmla dia dngar kn tnga tido tu
mummy: tau saje je
then when want to klua
mummy: ehk tutup pintu, ma da lambat (shouting from outside)
me: (still sleeping)
me: sufi tutup pintu mama suruh.(go back to sleep)

then when i really woke up around 9 i realised tht the door was not closed. then i look around the house and saw that im the only one in the house. wth.
currently eating maggi. cos my brother went out and forget to ask what i want for breakfast. wah, they get to eat mac's and me maggi. tknk kasi duit blanje baru tau.
going out to send dad's money and then meet someone. yesterday, i was at work and it feels so unlively cos my pay has not come in and everyone was angry including manager. ape ni.
then saw rahim with some of the twss people. wah, sorang lelaki nmpk. not bad.
when i was otw to work, i saw this guy. cute la. he board the bus with me and he suddenly turn to me and i was freak out that i run for the bus. hahaa. then in bus he was sitting facing me. and we keep looking at each other. but he is always blowing his nose. sakit bang? then when he want to cross we still look at each other, cute but dunno why he is like blowing his nose all the time.
got to go.
(:

2009-10-17T23:39:00.000-07:00

sometimes, you just have to let go
eventhough you wish it wasnt true
life has to go on as it is
being sad and angry brings
nothing but hurt and pain...

ive my mind up. i decided to let go since there's no more feelings. i think you are more relieve now. but i need time ok.
yes, at least i believe in myself that i can try to let my life go on. after all those night out and the things that you say. im now making my mind. like you wanted. i gave it to you so that you wont need to worry of making me hurt or making you confused again. lets not talk about it anymore ok.
yesterday went to holland village. i became a one day tour guide bringing my relatives to the place that we use to live. I actually dont remember living there cos i was 2 when i went there. bought cookies from 7-eleven. it was super soft like a cake. sweet like a cookie. i dont think its a cookie. bought orange juice but mum finished it alone. my relatives bought 'mister potato' chips. i joined them eating all the way to mrt. good thing we were not lost. then mum saw her school friend. then she happy but walked away w/o asking for her number. then halfway scold me cos never tell her to take her friend number. She begged me to make her a facebook account. ape je. buat la sendiri da marah orng beh nak beg. then off home.
around 3 my twin cousins came. long time never see them. cute man.
prefer the adik cos he is all quiet . had this talk with both of them

me: amar ke amir yg good boy? amir good boy la diam je.
amar: amar good boy!
me: mane ada amar noisy. tngok amir good boy kan.
amar: amar good boy!
amir: amir good boy! amir nak cake!
amar: amar nak cake!

both boy super cute. fight for the same thing but amir seems to be very goo cos he give in though he is the adik. then when taking pic, amar want to take pic of his adik then he ask amir to do poses. when amir i ready, amar laugh and forget to take pic. then amir say "ape je".
had great time with them.
friday went raya with 2 emerald and celebrate zul's birthday. i was super tired that day. sdf knows why. then off home with fariza and afiq cos i was sleepy padahal i could stay. hee. my eyes were red ready. photo's at afiq's cam.

byes

2009-10-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i dont realise why i do things
i know that i wasnt suppose to
i realise now that what i did affect people
i'm sorry for taking your space
not going to do it again
i will understand and give you all the space that u need
really, i will

i'm wishing that everything comes back to normal. to where it was to be. i dont want us to be memories only. i will do what i want me too. too undrstand to be there. im trying my best to let you get all that you want.
had been studying for a few days and today it all ends. Yay!
Im not that excited cos i knew i did badly, for the sastera.
cikgu talk to me jus now. i was so disappointed cos i can actually make it.
i can actually pass like hell. its just that at that time my mind was everywhere.
then bio was not that difficult but i did not know how to the last section.
i dont know what question i wanted to do. i did all and choose my best answer.
but i dont feel good about it. a-maths was disasterous. did really badly.
actually i could study and at least get pass. but things wasnt that good for me that day.
my eyes swollen and my mind is just elsewhere. i cant remember the formula that i memorised
befor the test. actually felt disappointed that i am beginnig to flunk the last few papers.
didnt finish the paper. ended up writing out what i was thinking. i really cant get my mind of it.
today chemistry. it was ok at section a but when it comes to the structured question, everithing becomes super easy that i cant do most of it. While doing the last few questions. again my mind was distracted. i really cant get it of my mind.
i jus want to run away from everyone. since small this was all i wanted love from everyone including my parents who wasnt with me when im small. but when i thought i had the love it slips of me again. nenek is all i have all along. she keeps me awake that she will always be with me.
sayang nenek. she hypnotise me today until i agreed to fetch my brother from school. jahat ehk. tknk kuncikn jam nenek baru tau.
im home feeling really lonely. nenek at toilet doing idk what since jus now. i miss the times you were like before. the times you really put your heart to this. i know that i need to understand. and now i am. i tried to not go to you jus now so that you get your time. i tried to bug you less. i feel alone now. i just want someone to tell me that all this is like before. and to turn back the time for me to repair those things that ive made you.
going raya with my friends tomorrow. 2 emerald ehk. i wont back out this time to pay for what i did the last time. promise. wearing blue tomorrow. blue, yes!

(:

*as much as you want me to go out with you thats what i want from you on the 19. but if you cant then i understand. really, i do. i'm not angry. i just need a partner on that day. like all the others do. like you wanted when you went out with your friends last time.

2009-10-10T00:56:00.000-07:00

the feeling of depressed after the sastera paper, i knew i could pass but at that time, i really dont know what to do. Instead of doing both section a and b i did 2 from section a. Im soo freaked out when i realise it only after handing it in. Im really gonna fail the combine humanities. I was really disappointed for not doing well for it. I could have done better if only i didnt cock up. ):

yesterday went raya outing with teck whye primary schoolmates. Someone didnt plan the outing. planned only the place to meet which was the first house. when i ask her who's house is next. the answer "aku tk tau". I was impressed. But enjoyed the outing giler. it was funny and seems more like a reunion than a raya outing. Took lots of pictures with ameera's camera. Went to 6 or seven houses then off to send zal home. Then me,off home alone.

slept well last night. woke up with bloodshot etes due to contact lens. haiyah. Ate rendang just now. Weirdly there's rendang on last 2 weeks of raya instead of the first. But, it was heavenly.

Sedap! Cousin's from johore sleeping here tonight cos its easier for them to get a bus home tomorrow. So better behave. But im not gonna be home till 11 la. Working is getting me bored cos im doing the same thing again. Told manager and she allow me to learn to make drinks at the bar. Hah, now can learn to make milkshakes and sorbets at home.

Re-newed tagboard cos im sick of those people who comment on looks. To that person, do you want a mirror? Ill give you one to let you see if you are that good-looking yourself? If you are thousand times more handsome than good for you but if you are just average dont need to comment on people's looks. My boyfriend does not need to be a handsome guy he just need to be handsome inside. And i know you dont have that. OPPS! Sorry for saying that to you. Shouldnt be commenting you then.

I dont want to retain this next year, please let me pass this exams. Its breaking my brain into millions pieces. Become depressed and every press that you can think of.

byes
happy 1st month (yesterday)
(:
i know you didnt forget. i trust you.

2009-10-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

currently studying...

While studying just now my realtives came and i freezed for like for 10 seconds due to the shock. I was sitting like an apek at coffee house while eating kuih and studying. Could you imagine? And my door was open damn wide. paiseh man...

then made drinks for them. the funy think is that the drink is not sweet and tasteless. my nenek say da expired tu pasal rase lain but air expired in just 2 weeks??? nenek ape je la. she was in a rush to find her tudung that she wore it the other way round. Funny...

sunday went to study with zallie. mepek toot eh budak tu. it was a hard time teaching him la. Copy question also wrong. Hahaaa. Cute but definitely clumsy.

i;m prepared for exams but im not confident. teach me to be confident someone?

2009-10-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

down with fever, flu and sore throat. How bad can it be? I had it while doing my malay paper. And i really think that i did it really badly. My compo was like a primary 6 compo. What else do i expect than a B4. I certainly downgraded so much. I really cant afford to lose this. I really want to promote and am TRYING to perservere with all this sickness and family pressure.

Today i dint do much, slept till 12 at the dot. WoW! Then watched tv. Went to bpp at 3 to buy groceries for my mum and food for me and brother. I was feeling like fainting when i was at the counter. As soon as i paid i run to long john and sat before buying takeaway food. Haa, buy takeaway but sat for soo long at long john. Just finished studying maths. I realized that its not that difficult unless u forget your formal and steps to the quetion. But i keep failing when i know i can do it. Im just to playfull maybe. Yes i AM. I planning to study bio tmrw but nobody is going with me. YOU, text me that you're going. Im begging.... ):

2009-09-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

Im full with kuih. Ate the whole container full of kuih cos ive got nothing to eat. Actually there's asam pedas but im lazy to take and it will make me go to toilet. Haa.
Today, good and bad things happen. Like all other days. The good thing is that i get to go home ant 1.15. WAH! Yesterday went home at 1.15 also. Wah! So good! Miss lian realises that each time we have free period, she didnt have class too. And she actually can conduct class when we are having free period. All this while, now than we all realise. Haiyah! Sat at hall for lit and my legs are numb sitting on the floor. It was super painful. But resisted it cos school was finishing soon. Hahaa. Enjoying the last 2 periods.
The bad things is that, people sometimes dont realise that they are making people feel uncomfortable. I really want the year to end soon and the person to go away but the thing is that im so afraid of my EOY's. Im so unprepared. Yes, ive studied but im just not confident to do it. You know what's the result when you have no confidence right? I really cant take the stress. When the stress is already rising in me, new problems come. I accept people for who they are but i dont understand why he does those things to us. Are we not worth for him? I hope you will stop searching for a new woman. Really, i hope you stop.
Im worried about my studies and i've no choice but to seek help really. I hope you dont mind.
Yesterday, ate pastamania as soon as we were released by mr ang. Cute teacher. Sab and me saw thw waiter who have attitude again. Mother, never smile to customer's. We were facing the escalator while seating and kept commenting on the people who were walking. Hahaa, divert pe. Im freakingly freaked out for my english. I dont want to fail.

Im done for it
):
*bad day
PS: i'm sending you tomorrow, understand? Ask me online then now dont want online. Biase ehk, watch out tmrw. (:

2009-09-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

Currently eating pizza crazy pipes. Actually bought it last week then forget to eat till now. Hee, mu durian pancake also havent eat yet. Hmph.
Mummy went raya AGAIN, without me as per usual. Urgh! I want go raya. ): Today school wasnt that fun. Today is ANGRY day. You know why sabiolz. Hahaa. Was angry with people today, actually everyone. Fariza made this snort that i cant do. Then just now went library, heard zal snort like fariza. I just cant do like that. But keep laughing hearing that snort. Hahaa. After school went to lot 1 library to study. Yah, like real ah study. Studied for awhile only cos zal keeps disturbing la. Sab and shafiq joined shortly after then the disturbing get more irritating till i surrender and closed my book. I played guitar hero and heard my stomach grumbling. Then off to kfc to buy snackers. Wohoo! Heavenly...
Then discussed about saturday with zal and we were bickering alot. Hee. Took 67 home then realiza that my add. maths book at zal's bag. So i called him till i forget to press the bell to get down from bus. Slmat uncle tk marah ehk. Then waited for zal to come and send my book then off home.
Having tuition today but lazy go. Its the last day of tuition sey. Havent been going for the past 4 weeks. Bagus, good example. Want to pass but i really cant get anything in my head eventhough going for tuition. Like shit!
Want buy shoe but someones making me hesitate.
Want strawberry milkshake from macdonalds.
Want pastamania.
Want pizza hut!!!

bye

2009-09-22T01:40:00.000-07:00

Im home alone!! Yes!! She trusted me with the key today. Happy man, its unexpected. Fuh!!
Meeting zal-lie later so that it means he sending to work. YAY! Miss u sending me to work.
Ive got nothing to do at home. Just now went bpp to meet the bblogshop owner to collect my things but she last minute cant come. Like WTH! This is like the 3rd time she cancelled the meeting la. I dont think i want to buy that stuff from her anymore. Like she's making her customers a fool. I reached bp already sia just now. WTH! Idiot.
Chill! Anw, SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all muslims. Enjoyed the first two days of raya. Didnt get to go raya today cos im working. Hmph.): I wish that loqman gets the job soon so he cover for me on saturday. I really cant make it, i need someone to change it for me. Argh!
Ive been having diarhea again for the last two days cause, i ate too much spicy food. Hee, didnt heed doctors recommendation to stop eating spicy food. Ehk im soo used to eating spicy food la. .

Got to meet zal.
byes
(:

2009-09-18T05:26:00.000-07:00

Just woke up from sleep, i've got no other things so i decided post. I dont have any latest updates or anything. Im just posting cos i feel like it.Hee. Seriously saying i'm not in the mood now. Had tarian a.k.a talking session with cikgu azmi cos we were tired and many of us did not want to practice. Ended around 4.30. Called amithabachin for almost 6 times before he answered. I dont know what he did that each time i call him he would never answer. He told me that he was at clementi and it would take time to come to bukit batok. So i was pissed, he already confirmed that we are buying shoes today but then end up? Maybe its my fault for telling you that i will end at 5.30 but i didnt say that i will reallyreally end tarian at 5.30. Told you to wait me at school so its easier you dont want. That i understand. I dont mind if you dont want wait for me. But please la, i dont like people who seriously confirmed with me and suddenly decided to change day. You make me put high hopes for nothing. So then i talk to him otp for awhile, scoldingscoldingscolding and he was making jokes. I know you're a funny person but sometimes i need you to be serious too. He likes to hang uo so much and i just cant take it la. I feel like crying and i told him. He did nothing. Eventhough i hung up on him, he just dont react. Why is it that i must tell you to do things for me? I dont want that. I want you to react by yourself. I didnt ask you to be romantic, its just when someone cries, what do you think she needs? I dont want to keep telling you that i feel sad and that im crying. You could hear my shaking voice right? Urgh! I dont want to change you thats why i dont really care about what you're lacking. I dont want you to change i just want you to realise. Thats all i need.
Then after scolding and talking, waited for him in hope that he would come then called him up again and he said he reached home already. I was already freaking pissed off by then. So i played with the rain. Walking from dunearn's bustop to the one before it so that i can cool myself off and broke down on my way. I'm not angry that you went home. I know i asked you too but then if you really love me would you really leave me waiting? That was when i started to regret things. I feel that things are different now. Its our first time fighting like this. I seriously dont want to buy the shoe with you anymore. I prefer doing things myself now that i know its soo difficult for us to buy things together. It alright im already used to it. Ive done things alone in my life. Its not that i dont need you but think for yourself, do i need to tell you that i need you? I want you to react by yourself and not do things cos i ask you too. I went home and was feeling pissed and regretful. Haish.
Slept all the way till 8.30. Wah, shiok! I seriously didnt get enough sleep since last three days, ( i hope you do know bout that) cos ive been working night shift. I feel like buying a baju raya but its late already i think, Hmph nevermine, still got tomorrow. Hee. SHIT! I just realise that i have tuition today. Bagus, tk datang lagi ehk. Aaah, sorry hureen, aku terlupe yang aku ada baca message kau. Sorrysorry.
I saw felicia chin on tv with her vitagen advertisement and i feel like drinking vitagen. Ahhh, its freaking nice if i can get the apple vitagen. Alamak, wanted to go down but its already 9, kedai apek da tutup. ):

byes

);

PS: I dont mind you not being romantic but i want you to see that if you dont realise about things around whats happening to us, its going to be difficult for us to get along like we used to. I want you to know that im not trying to break off its just that i want you to think for a while. Is this really worth what i waited for? I want us to be happy yah, but how when you are serious at times. Iloveyou. But now, i regret for doing things. Its not that i regret having you, i appreciate it alot. I really do thats why i keep wanting you to be with me. Sayang, i dont mind you not comforting me just be here with me will you? Like you promise you would. Im trying to be strong for all this. Will you be here for me lie on you agin?

2009-09-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like eating cupcakes. Woah! Its heavenly nice if i get a whole box of it.

Hey, i freakingly pissed off today. Really damn pissed off la. My pay is not in yet. I've been waiting for weeks for my pay but till now, i still didnt get it. Oi!!!! My money, my hard earned money. I really need it for Hari Raya, ive not bought a single thing and im not free on other days. WTH!! Whats with the people in the office. Urgh! I really need money now cos i was suppose to be buying kuih and baju raya today. Its already late la and we buke begedil only cos there's nothing else at home. Please transfer the money soon. I damn need it.

You, amithabachin, im sorry for not saying goodbye just now, my nenek came out of the lift and i panicked la. Actually she dont really mind. Its just that im afraid she wont like seeing us, thats why i left immediately. You la, ask you go home dont want. Padan muke. Btw, im sorry for being moody, SORRYSORRYSORRY. I will make it up to you, i promise. Remember, 3 days we cannot layan the guy. Zal nk tag apa kt dia tag la, su da malas nk melayan orng yang tk bernyawa.

Hmph, im still out of prepaid and it has been 5 days without prepaid. So dead without messaging. Amithabachin kalau nk amek su dari block su come early so that i know, if not ltr like just now.
Today, i was late for the first time this term. Like ive never have a clean term. And its all for waiting for amithabachin. Then i realise that he actually reached school already. Goodgood. DO AGAIN NEXT TIME. Get report slip today and i was really feeling good cos i passed all except my maths. Haa. Peace and love everybody. Hving diarhea again but i was already ready for it cos i know the cause. Hee. Mummy told to eat medicine to stop diarhea but i refuse cos my stomach will ache cos of the effect. No use...

byes

2009-09-14T05:40:00.000-07:00

Im all alone at home.
Ate tomyam with cilipadi again. Fuh! Heavenly. Soo get ready to get diarhea again. Im chatting with iffah now and talking crap.
This is an exampl of my converstion with her,

Iffah . says:
SUSU !
Sulaiha says:
eh iffah laaa
Iffah . says:
takan og laen kn ?
eh eh , hari tu iffah go IMM then i never see you
hahahaha
Sulaiha says:
sbab iffah kene buat announcement baru ble nmpk
Iffah . says:
buat announcement ?! malu laaaah ,
nanti mic ade problem , kene carik susu utk betulkn
hahahaha
Sulaiha says:
wah! su da retire ehk
Iffah . says:
retireeeeeeeeeee ? noooooooooooooooo , who's gonna run around at stage ?
who's gonna fix the mic , who's gonna help me find susu with an annoucement ?!
Sulaiha says:
your momma
hahaa
iffah call 911 la
Iffah . says:
my mummy kaki sakit dook
somebody call 911 , fire burning on the dance floor
bkn fix mic
hahahaha
Sulaiha says:
sama dia satu package la
Iffah . says:
woaaah , experience nah sulaiha ni ,
pernah call 911 eh ?
Sulaiha says:
pernah la
da kol pastu letak
mcm prank gitu
you should try it
Iffah . says:
Ohh hoooo , ayoooh , nanti org 911 bakar susu baru tau , prank call prank
call . sean kingstion marah nanti
hahhahaa
Sulaiha says:
eh dia suka la
dia kata beautiful girl adala.
Iffah . says:
woaaah ^^
suke lah susu , beautiful girl
Sulaiha says:
eh mesti la
chey
Iffah . says:
jealous iffah ,
hahahaha'
tkpe lah , Iffah suke justin beiber
Sulaiha says:
jadik iffah why not tyr call 911
a lot can happen
chey
Iffah . says:
woaaaah , ok cool .
what can happen
tell me lah
you got lots of experience maah
Sulaiha says:
for example, justin timberlake will love you more and taylor swift will have a love story
with you
amacam
Iffah . says:
woaaaaah , bestnyeeee
will pixie lott make my momma do something too ?
hahahahah !
Sulaiha says:
yeah sure
why not
Iffah . says:
hahahaha ,
i should try it one daaay .
with you beside me ofcourse !
ape ape terjadi , i can blame it on you .
akon will put the blame on you ,
Sulaiha says:
Thats the way
you go girl
Iffah . says:
hahhahaha , ok coolioooo
Sulaiha says:
terima kasih eh
Iffah . says:
huh ? foooooooooooor ?
Sulaiha says:
for saying me cool
chey
Iffah . says:
hahahhaah , susu is alway very coool .
i ffah can hot
susu must be cool
Sulaiha says:
wow!
not bad eh
Iffah . says:
ofcourse , akon ajar iffah mahh
eh bukan ,
katie perry
hot and cold
Sulaiha says:
bertenang iffah
iffah tk ble both hot and cold
iffah kene choose
why not iffah take cold, su take hot
Iffah . says:
hahaha , bertendang lah ni .
iffah nk hot , susu boleh amek cold
hahhhaa
Sulaiha says:
its ok
cold is still nice

Talking crap is freaking entertaining me la. Hee. Im happy today. I dont know why. When i came to school, it feels like a first day of the year. Haahaaa. Weird feelings. Felt tired when i reached home so i really slept like i've never slept before. Im getting my pay tomorrow, so yeah, buying kuih and some more things to fill the house. I should actually be studying now la. Haiyah. Soo not on schedule. Im dead if im not studying. Hmph... Im bored to death. Missing nenek muchmuch cos if she is here she would watch Scary Movie eith me and we will laugh eventhough we have seen it alot of times. HaHAA. Suke ehk nenek ehk.

bye la
i got nothing to write
):

PS: Zal, su tk tau nk buat ape? Im freaking bored. Ehk, zal g ane? Tk blang su. Soo bad ehk. Tknk blanje zal ah. ILY.

2009-09-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

Im feeling sick and tired of people now that they keep interfering in my life. If i have done something wrong to you then im sorry but i guess you're the one who should be apologising for making me read all your stupid fucking nonsense that you are tagging on my blog. I f you were to ask all the guys whom ive been with, all of them were the ones asking to break off. Not me. There's only one or two whom i ask for breakup. Hello, if you want to spot nonsense please spot things that are logical. If im a playgirl, might as well i ask them for break rather than they asking me right. TOLONG PAKAI OTAK SIKIT AH! I don think you have the rughts to say that diyanah cant interfere. Its you who are interfering. Dont you get it. Knp kau nk kene mali kan diri kau sendiri. Im not affected by your nonsense cos i know im not what you say i am. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT BEFORE TELLING PEOPLE OFF! Do you think your that good. If you are that good why dont you put your name clearly and we really settle this off. Why? Takot pe? Afraid that people will make fun of you for spotting things that are not true. I seriously think what you are tagging me are out of the box la. Kalau kau nk ckp pasal aku pun, think for yourself you have also made the mistake of your life la. If you're unhappy, why not ask yourself what you did. And when you already have a girl dont go tagging you your ex-es tagboard justy becos you are unhappy. Dumb! Go and get emotional support from a doctor. Aku rase kau da gile. Becos i have never been a playgirl. Playgirl doesnt mean that when i broke off i cant have a boyfriend. That's not called playgirl, its called moving on. Soo get your definitions right. And if you dont like me, why read and tag my blog. Cant you just go away, loser ass***.

2009-09-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

Heys,
Watching online movie, agent cody banks and posting at the same time. Hee, im alone at home cos i cant go to terawih today. Sorry darling, i cant msg you cos my prepaid da bes. Hope you understand why i didnt tell you that im not coming to terawih. Ate a bit today, only ate kuih that i bought and maggi. Drank kiwi and lime juice just now. Its freaking sour. Yucks!

Lots of people are changing now but some are still being in the same attitude. I like it when people change for good but not those who change but become worse. Hope those people are not far off track.

Went to jurong library with intention to study but then i was distracted when zal makes jokes and we start playing tic-tac-toe. I keep losing la. Shit! I suck at that game. But he gave me chance. Hee. Then we end up not learning, and then decided to go jurong point to look at my working schedule. Then went to look for kuih. I wanted to take this escalator with no seps. Cool man. I like that escalator. Mcm tengah walking over the moon. Then bought food for people at home. Then, intended to send zal home but ended up he send me home. Good boy. Thank you.
Yesterday, didnt get to sleep until after sahur. I cried cos i was freakingly tired but i cant sleep. I hate those times when i cant sleep. I feel like eating lots of sleeping pills so that im able to sleep real well at night. If only i have prepaid i will disturb zal so that he can accompany me. I stayed up and played game on my phone until 450 then sahur. Then i went off to bed. Wah! The feeling of getting to sleep well really is nice.

Well now i want to concentrate to see syurga cinta cos it seems nicer.
byes
(:

PS: Sorry cant text you that im not going terawih. Hmph, thanks for today, i think i was childish at the escalator but whatever it is you must know that i am childish. So bear with my childishnes. Okay! I want to see you tmrw if you can.

2009-09-11T01:11:00.000-07:00

Im not in the mood to post. I went to my blog and saw my tagboard with this dumb person i dont know who. I seriously think that the person is a freaking coward la. I f he's really that vain, why didnt he just put his name. Scared or just afraid that people will embarassed you for criticising people? To this -.- please ah who are you? God is it? If i want to stead with a person, i dont need a comment from you on wether he's handsome or what. Look at your own self first before calling people names, if you are a person with a good heart and attitude, i dont think you will actually embarass yourself by judging his looks and calling me names. You are nobody to rule my life. Secondly, i've never said that my boyfrien is handsome to anyone. I have JUST started my relationship with him and i have never talk to anyone about his physical features. Soo, what the hell are you talking about? Talking crap and even calling me bullshit when i think you are more worse that a hypocrite. Talking of me on my blog, if you hate me then i dont mind cos i dont i even like you cos you have a really damn attitude and i dont think anyone wants you for that kind of self-thinking. Thirdly, if i were to make fun of your gilfriend in future, will you be angry? Im sure you will right. Why are you soo anti to my relationship, it mine realtionship and not yours. Why do you need to care, it doesnt bother you. If you're saying that im judging guys by looks, then see for yourself if my boyfriends are that handsome. Use your small brain for a bit can? If you think that what im saying are all bullshit that you're wrong cos that's what people are thinking of you. Im not being arrogant to you but get this in your head, you are not someone that can rule peopla. You dont have the rights at all. And can you get a life? Dont go around talking about people at their blog. Go and manage your own life. If im a hypocrite, then what are you?

2009-09-09T04:48:00.000-07:00

Today is a wonderful day for me. Went out to study at jurong library with Hasrizal. And i was late, i didnt even know how to go to the entrance of the library cos i've not been there for a long time. Managed to finish my chemistry notes at last. And i think im prepared for my chemistry test. I've never been this prepared before. I study really hard and if i faled again, i dont know what i'm gonna do. After studying, send zal back home. I just wanted to send him home today cos he has been sending me home all this while and i want to repay his deed. I didnt know that you are going to ask me the question today. Sorry, i just cant control my laughter that time. Its not that im not serious, its just that it was unexpected and i wasnt thinking of anything that moment.

Im not confirmed that im going to go for breakfast tomorrow cos im planning to go terawih with mother. Its the last few days to raya and it will be good if i can catch up with what ive missed. Sorry guys if i cant go.

And for my abang sedare, take care at your camp site okay. Be home for raya. I've been staying with him since i was small. He has been a great brother to me and helped me out even to the days that im not wanted by anyone. He was always there for me when i needed someone. All the best abang!

Byes

PS: I hearts you! I'm glad that i dont have to wait anymore and you really convince me that you are what you say to me.

2009-09-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

Haish! At last got to use the laptop after 1 hour of wait. Today started out quiet well. Wake up at 7+ and bath and wanted to iron my school clothes. You know what my father takes half an hour to iron just 1 shirt. He was angry that i walk to and fro at the door waiting for him. Ape je, padahal dia yang lambat. Then went for literature enrichment which was super duper short. I called and msged zal twice but no answer. Bagus la. Kata nk klua tapi tk bngn ape je. After lit. straight away went home. Im planning to sleep till 5 then go to work. Hee. (: BUT, my room is locked and i cant get in. ALAMAK! Why the hell is my room locked? I dont understand man, its my room. HELLO!

But anyway, yesterday, i went home from work at abt 11+ and i realise that my room is in a really big mess. You want see how its like? Like this

Thats what it is like in the wardrobe.

This is suppose to be meant for my grandmother's scarves but it ended up like mine.

This is the study table.

And the condition has been like that for the past 2 months. WOW! I cant believe i can sleep in a room like that la. Thats why i sometimes cant find my things. Soo bear with it people. (:

I saw faizul yesterday while working. This is my second time seeing him when im working. He looks so different now. WOOOW! Got muscle sia. HOT! Soo tall, im freaking jealous la. It takes me years to grow tall but then now i shrink. Stupid! But anyway thanks for praising me. Hee. XOXO.

Didnt meet-up with zal yesterday cos he went to buka at masjid. It was funny that he could answer my call when people are reading al-quran. Ya allah! Next time just dont pick uP. It makes me feel sinful.

PS: If you are afraid why cant you make yourself safer by asking me? Hmph ): I wonder why it feels so long waiting. What if i cant wait any longer?

2009-09-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

3 jade'09

Helloooooo....

Im up at 11+ this morning cos my two brothers were soo freaking noisy and i was awaken by their argument over power rangers. Soo childish 16 year old and fighting about power rangers. Nonsense. I have no plans on going out today cos i really am out of money. Im waiting for 15 september to arrive so that i get my pay and i can go shopping la. But it feels soo long waitng for that day to arrive. Hmph...

I had a really dreadful day yesterday, i really dont understand why some people just cant be nice to us even when its ramadhan period. Doesnt she realise that she is making people hate her more than liking her. I really am at my wits end of disliking that girl. Its not that im being arrogant or something but think about it, she keep coming in between when im having so much fun and she keeps spoiling my fun throughout the day. How can i stand her if she does it every single day? Like she's me around so that she gets what she wants. I think you seriously should get to know what others think about your attitude. You are spoling a lot of friendship bonds and even yours. One day when someone tells you all that you have done to make that person hate you, you will seriously feel that you actually am an egoistic person and thinks only for yourself.

Not only that i too cant understyand why guys cant take it when we reject them. I went to tuition yesterday and he actually was being sarcastic about me and zal. And kept saying that ' gi la dengan matair kau'. I dont think there's a need to talk like that to me la. First of all he isnt mines yet and secondly why do you have to give me opinions about my life. THIS MY LIFE! Tak paham bahasa ke??? How many times must i tell you that its my life and i dont need you yo choose for me my boyfriend or wether i should even have one. Dont you understand peoples feeling or you just dont understand english is it? Go get a life and please don keep bugging in my life. Im not being arrogant but i dont think you like to have someone choose what you do right. Im not doing it to you so please dont do it to me. I felt hurt hearing his sarcastic words, it's as if i have done something wrong towards him.

Last wednesday, i went to work and saw addy. I smiled to him and he was really wanted to go away to smile back cos he look at me and turn his attention to his tunang and then went off. Good thing that he has a tunang now. See, if i were too accept him i dont think he would be getting married soon cos our age are such a big difference. And he didnt talk to me at all. I feel so guilty but i think its for his own good right. Wish that he will be happy! (:

Thats all for now

Byes

cya

Ps: Don't you feel scared that one day someone else gets me instead of you? I just want to know.

2009-09-01T00:24:00.000-07:00

Im feeling really sick today. I didnt get enough sleep last night. Wake up at 2+ in the morning cos im having diarrhea again. It continued on till the today. I keep going in and out of the toilet and i just cant sleep. At 6+ or so i get to sllep at least. Wake at 2 just now and my stomachs still rumbling.

Yesterday went to bbq with 3 jade and ms andrea lim too. It was fun as the whole lot who came got pushed into the pool and we were making a lot of noise. I was spared cos i didnt bring any extra clothes and i was going out after the bbq. Ate a lot yesterday. Had performance with beaters that morning. It went out well. Went to TWPS but unfortunately most of the teachers went home and there was only iffah, shuhada and ameera. We were having a laugh and took picture with ameera's camera. Miss them alot.

Before bbq i went to brealfast with zal at guilin. I find the place creepy cos at first there were only the two of us. Didnt manage to finish my mee goreng.

This morning, was shocked to see what i saw. I remembered my brother having it and it took a long time for him to get over the pain and get thing out of him. I feel like dying when i saw it and that was why i dont have the mood now.

OH NO!!! I need the toilet again.

Gtg. I hope my stomach will be okay cos im working tonight.

BYE
):

2009-08-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

Im feeling so hungry suddenly. Yesterday at work, ate fish melted cheese and i was super full. And today had diarrhea you now. Like from sahur till now, i have been going to the toilet la.

Got a msg from zallie that he cannot send me to work cos he is going out. Well, i usually feel angry whenever he cancelled our meeting or cant make it but TODAY, i became very understanding. Didnt scold him at all. See nikmatnye bulan puase. Im doing my social studies tutorial assignment. I didnt get any useful informations for the write up la cos the websites doesnt have the info la. Buat penat je type url dia yang maha pendek tu.

Mummy is cooking now. Im feelimg sad at times that i dont really breakfast at home most of the time. Its like the only family time but i wasnt there. But i make it an effort to breakfast at home whenever im not working. My parents appreciated my effort to be home for buke and cooked me ffod i like but at times i had to go out and buy my own food. Well i understand how money is important now that Hari Raya is coming. Not to worry, i will buy the things needed for Hari Raya okay. I really want to eat some kuih.

Planning to breakfast with zallie tomorrow but its not confirmed yet. Maybe turning up for the barbeque at yee lin's house tomorrow but i cant confirm. I see first okay babes. I hope so i can cos im under money crisis. Waiting for my pay day now that the month is about to be over.
Hoping to help my family financially. Going to work later. Hope i dont need the toilet that often.
Having Teacher's day performance tomorrow. I pray that i would not be making any mistakes or cocking up tomorrow. Wearing the t-shirt that i bought together with sabluvx at far east. (:
Byes
(:

2009-08-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

I feel so bored when im at home. But when im out, i feel so tired and sleepy. I dun understand why sometimes i feel moody. Maybe im stress or maybe just becos im just not feeling like it.
Yesterday had tuition and when i was going home with zal, we saw azmi. I feel guilty lah that time. I should had waited for him to board the bus first la. Its not that i like him or anyhting but i dont think its nice when somebody who likes you see you with another guy instead of going home with him. Im sorry. ):
Well i dont have any plans today cos i feel like sleeping all day. But eventually i cant sleep and theres nothing interesting on tv today. Watched BARBIE as RAPUNZEL at 11.30 just now.

The story was soo romantic. Rapunzel's hair was freaking nice la. She is so pretty eventhough with the pink dress she used for her daily chores at home. I like the dragon too. The background pictures were very pretty la. I wish there is a place like that in this world. The three little sisters was cute and they are very fair. The story awed me soo much that i scolded my brother when he changed it. Then he went out. Hahaa.
Working today and feeling moody when thinking of later. I dunno why. I need to really work hard for the upcoming exam. I dont want to fail anymore. I passed my literature at last. 16 over 25 you know. But i didnt manage to do the last part actually if not, i could have gotten higher marks.

Met my friend's mum yesterday while waiting for bus after malay dance. Miss her alot dunno why la. She hugged and kissed me and i feel so touched. She looks different now. She invited me for hari raya. Felt really really touched. (: Thanks mak! Your so loving and im reallly happy to see you. Take care okay! (:

Okay, i need to iron my work clothes now.
I know its too early but my mum is forcing me to do it now.
kae
bye
(:
PS: I dunno how long more i need to wait for you. I dont mind the wait but i just dunno when are you ready yet. I cant force you i just want th eright time to be comming really soon.

2009-08-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

Both the picture is so candid. Its been long since i post ryte. I know... Ive been busy and today is the only day that im not having anything after school. Thats why i plan to sleep all the way. Hee...
Went lot 1 with zal and the others. I was very damn tired and dont feel like it so i kept quiet most of the time la. And zal thinks that im merajok-ing. Hmph, ape je.
Tomorrow have testt need to study.

(:

2009-08-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

Just finished break-fast. Alhamdullilah i managed to get through my first day without that much cabaran. Went to bugis with diyanah to find dress and also 3/4 pants. We went from one end to another and we only found what we wanted at the very end of the lane. Like seriously testing my patients. Nasib baik puase oi!. The way to bugis was even harder than finding the clothes la. It was damn pack and the aircon was like shit. Like not working like that. We were like soo irritated with the driver for driving like rocket hitting stones la.
Then off to lot 1. Meet afifah, nazmi and ahmad. Me and diyanah were late and felt guilty that they had to wait for us. Then bought everything we need and off to rooftop and take pictures. All the pictures are at diyanah's camera. (:
Then off home. Was tired but not to the point of eating la. Saw a lot of non-muslims eating, feel temted but not very tempted la. Feeling great that i can endure my day today.
(:
bye

2009-08-18T04:40:00.000-07:00

Been feeling really frustrated with people nowadays. Some of them is getting really KPO and stealing precious people while some are just out to cheat me. I don't understand why sometimes the truth are always kept away from us. Well i do it too at times but it gets really hurtfull when you know that you've been cheated. There are also some who told the truth but it just didnt turn out right and all i want to do is to just ignore that person.
Just came back from school and is now feeling stressed out. Had teacher's day rehearsal just now. I was damn happy that we actually got in. YES! Im trying to give my damn best. Had oral just now, it was not that difficult la.
Ive got no mood to post. Dunno y.
):
byes
PS: For A**i, im sorry if what i told you kind of hurt your feelings but truthfully thats what i felt. I didnt know that actually had feelings for me and im sorry for being rude to you. But seriously, i dun want to be ruled by anyone. Furthermore, i've only know you for a while. Im sorry la. I dunno why i dun want to even be friends with you. I was shocked when you say you wanted me. I just want you to move on ok. And just dun kacau me. ):

2009-08-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Alamak! Im feeling real tired again.
Jus wake up from a 5 min sleep. Like wth 5 min je kepe. Mum asked me to take care of my brother for awhile. Alamak, disturb me only.
Okay, wan to wish sabluvx HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope that she enjoyed her day today. Ehk da 15 ehk. Big f**k pe. Chey tkla, main2 je. Her birthday bash is very crappy. Its last minute sia. Me and fariza splashed water at her when she refilled her bottle. Then i pull her hair. That part like fun like that. Hahaa. Sorry la sab.
Today at school i pretty much didnt pay attention. Not even a single attention la. I was damn sleepy and i wanted to sleep throughout the day. Hahaa.
After school went out with diyanah, zal and hafiz. Me and diyanah were laughing like mad gals all the way. We were walking damn slow cos our legs were super painful and it takes 10 times the effort to take up just one step. You see how hard it is. Poor us. Went lot 1 then accompanied diyanah to pay her tuition fees. I didnt went up cos there is a long stretch of stairs to climb up la. It will take me hours to get up there and another to get back down. ): Then took 190 diyanah went home while me, zal and hafiz dropped down at bpp. Hafiz wanted to go home and me and zal didnt know what to do. We decided to take 975 and go one round till reach my bustop. But tk jadi sebab da kehausan. Hahaa. We just alighted the bus for no good reason la. Padahal 190 go my bustop. Then stayed with zal till 6+ then off home. Then when i reach home i was looking for food i was just stepping into the kitchen when i banged on the wall suddenly and my foot hurts twenty times more thanit hurts before+ my nail broke la. Kimek, sakit sey. Apala tu tembok langgar aku, carik pasal pe siak.
Now posting and waiting for my msn to sign in. Mka lambat ehk da 30 min tngu. Bgs.
kae
bye
(;

2009-08-08T00:55:00.000-07:00

Just came back for a short dance training session with diyanah. Punye la sekejap. But it was beneficial la cos i get to train the steps that im not sure with her. At least i get me prepared for new upcoming steeps. Both us were like blur blocks ar. Saw this karang guni while dancing. He looked at us dancing then his stacks of papers fall over. We wanted to help but shy. Hahaa. The uncle was laughing at the stacks. Bagus ah uncle.
Talked to diyanah bout yesterday while she was blogging. Hahaa. Secrets eh, cume antara sdfs jek. Hahaa.

Yesterday after school's national dsy celebration, accompanied zal to takraw, felt tired actually but he offered to send me home after takraw. So i went. Bastard la sulaiha. He made me laugh alot of times yesterday. Had great fun watching them play. I didnt get to retrieve any balls cos my hands are just so short. Damn it ):
Then went tuition and hureen didnt came. I was alone but got the others who accompany la.
Saw irfan and ghazi. I dunno why that everytime i use the beatles shirt i WILL see irfan. Like what sia. Next time dun wan wear anymore. Chey! tkla.

Working today, but dun feel like it today. Mepek eh. I got this msgs from my friend. He is very irritating la. Can't he just stop msging me. If say i dun wan pls dun force. Who the hell are you? Your nothing to me and you dun have the rights to rule over me okae. I dun wan see you anymre get it. Hope you get the msg that i dun want to even be friends with you la sia. You irritating.

Wah! Fierce. Kae chill.....
Still forget topass diyanah khairun's skirt. Remind me okae. Aku takot nanti aku lupe nk kasi alek. Kesian dia tngu nanti.

K thats all
(:
PS: I was wondering why you never said anything to me at all about what you feel. Are you waiting for a time that is right or are you waiting for me to figure it out myself? Whatever it is i hope it is not disappointing.

2009-08-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

Just finished bathing cos i felt really sweaty when i got home.
Had basketball interhouse just now. Not that tiring as i didn't play that much. But i came home with itchy rashes again, maybe due to the sweat and the stupid me scratch it. Hahaa. Slept during dplg just now. It was freezing la sey. Went back with him again. Feel guilty for letting him send me home. But he was enterteaining lah. Good! But he is lame at times. Hahaa.
Yesterday, worked and saw kak syahirah at swensens while working. I was like a walking corpse yesterday cos i was dog tired la. I went straight to work after malay dance but the thing that made me feel great was that he send me to work, which means i was laughing throughout the journey listening to his jokes. Good!
My leg hurts today dunno why. Can somebody bring me to a reflexology. I promise that ill treat that person like diamond la. Anyone?
Want to sleep but dunno why i just can't. Everything also i dunno la. Whats with me also i dunno. Did english test just now. Hope to pass but i dunno la. Ive been failing since the starting of the year. First time i fail english in my whole life. Depress aku!!
Tommorrow having training but dunno if i can go with my new rashes. Oi dun wan stop is it the rashes. Irritating sia... But like...
k la
thats it
(:
PS: why is it taking so long? Chey.

2009-08-03T01:22:00.000-07:00

Want to see final destination soo badly. Sab blang shafiq la. ):
Just came back from school. Let's start with yesterday. Went to mac's with diyanah to do blogshop. AGAIN. But we hope this time it will work. Hahaa. Went to diyanah house to take pictures after that. Then i online with zal in the morning cos ive got nothing to entertain myself with. Hahaa. Thanks ehk entertain sulaiha pagi2. Then at night off to work. I bought double fillet-o-fish before work. After work ate chicken pesto carbonara and soup. Wah! Fat sia like that. Had to scrub floor at work tiring sia.
Today went school with him. Hahaa, late ehk dia. Padan muke kene blanje. Then had pe. Played softball me and diyanah threw the ball all over the place and sheryl keep aiming the ball elsewhere except yee lin la. Almost hit me. Diyanah hit me thrice, good ehk girl. Then recess, fight with sab. As usual pulling hair is the best solution. Hahaa. Was sleepy throughout lesson la. But i tried to wake myself up. Had bio and chem test. Didnt study for both. Bu managed to do bio but chem was soo freaking bad. Only know how to do 4 questions la. Then after school blanja zal chicken then off home.
Well thats all
(:
PS: I think i have something for him but im afraid its just not real. Mcm tk pecaye gitu. His merepek plus my merepek makes it more crappy, pple say we're cute but tu lah kita dua-dua ni merepek ah. Mcm mane eh? I dunno what the hell im typing. But he is damn funny la.

2009-07-31T01:31:00.000-07:00

Its been so long since i updated. Okay, i just came home fron malay dance and is now able to update cos ive paid the bill. At last! School was not that tiring nor boring, jus now went to sinaran with nab and sab. Ate chicken chop. Sedap oi! The off to school for malay dance.

Here are the pictures for last saturday.

Saw irfan AGAIN yesterday in the bus and i was wearing the same thing as i was when i saw him last time. Like sway la that shirt but its new. So i take back my words. So sad that i cant see diyanah in her dinner dress but i told her to take lots of pictures so i can see. Hee!

Just now zal blanja me green apple. Thanks eh zal! I was damn thirsty la just now so yeah.

Stress cos test are coming and that means rashes are coming too. SHIT LA!

Brother had fever and was quarantine for 10 days. Such a pity. Planning to go to mac's with diyanah on sunday to do blogshop again cos the recent one is kind of dead la. Hope this one works. Want to go on sdfs date with diyanah and sab and fariza but eventually dunno who to take with me. Sab gave me the idea but then he is so the nono man. But isn't it fun to go dating with 3 of your other friends. Best sei. I can't imagine the fun. But tu la i dunno la havent conferm yet. I really want to see final destination la. Please make it happen ah.

till now.

bye

cya

2009-07-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

Hey, dreadful,dreadful week.
Got scolded and yes i can forget everything. YES!
I dunno what to say to that guy that called me everyday and night without fail. Please dun la, i will reply your mxg when im not busy. Okae.
Went to far east with diyanah yesterday. Bought bag and belts, tripped a lot of times cos the place floor's are not even. Like sial ah malu bodoh. Saw wanie, erlyyana and hanis, WAS SUPRISED too see them cos im soo potek sometimes. Saw diyanah's junior and she was damn pretty. Tall somemore. Me and diyanah was like awwed by it. Went to lots and lots of shops just to find diyanah's dress. It was soo difficult cos we could not decide what to buy. And i was depressed cos i dunno if i should buy a dress but at last didnt cos mum said dont.
Then kfc then took picture with diyanah camera and went to sheng siong. Then home and off to work.
Well thats all la
bye
(:

2009-07-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

Didnt went to school today. At last i can rest at home. Im feeling really tired eventhough ive drank lots of water. Serve me right for drinking rootbeer, green apple, apple tea and mocha latte for the past 2 days. Padan me aku!
Actually im also not in the mood to go to school, cos yesterday my day started out really nice as it was FARIZA'S B'DAE. But then in the middle of the day something happened. I was merely pranked and i was soo damn dumb to believe what the person said. Then i fought with my ex cos i scolded him. But i really wasnt my fault his friend pranked me and i thought that he was in it too cos he replied using your phone. Btol not my fault!!! Then i act like normal going to literature class but after that went to toilet and i was suprised that i broke down cos im usually very strong. Haish... I dunno why is it that he thought that idea was nice a prank. Im mad but really i think its my fault that i believe him la. AHH bodohbodohbodoh!!!!
Nw at library cos my modem havent pay yet. I bought strawberry milkshake. Nice but then im sick and im drinking this. This shows how stupid i am. Hahaa
Just now went to this place it has memories of me and him. I keep crying leh like rain machine. Uncles and aunties look at me sia. -.-

Till here, i need to catch up with my leadership programme at 2+ i guess. I want go clinic no one wants to follow. Jahat ehk.
bye
(:

2009-07-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

Today was not a good day for me like always. ):
I went to school to see diyanah take her honors day award then after that did UNSW english. I just tikam-tikam cos my head was spinning and i keep coughing. My temperature was 37.6 in the morning but i didnt went home cos i want to see my diyanah miss her cos yesterday she didnt came. Then after the test i went home cos i really cant stand the achy-ness on my body. I dunno why i feels so painful and i was limping for no reason jus that moving hurts soo much for me.

Lend shafiqah my pe shirt before test and i was very shy to gave it to her cos i used it yesterday and didnt wash it. But she insist so -.-. Sorry kalau busuk ehk.

Addy fetch me from school jus now when i went home half way. He is kind, bought me foo and treat me well. But im so sorry that i cant accept you right now. Im not ready yet to start a new relationship lagipun you're 11 years older than i am. Boys my age find me childish at times what about you if we're together. I dun wan to make other people hurt nor you but i jus have to make a choice. Im sorry. Hope we can still be friends and please dun hate me cos of this.

Then went lot 1 with diyanah to buy *****. Hope she like it. Then off home cos i really cannot stand the pain on my body. Can something cure this faster im suffering man. I dun intend to go to school tomorrow but for Dear Fariza's sake im willing to go eventhough its gonna be hard for me to stay awake in class tomorrow. Sayang fariza!

Till now
(:

Ps: I did what i could your still in my mind. I hate you for leaving me and saying things that convience me once before. But deep down in my heart i really do love you alot. ):

2009-07-18T04:31:00.000-07:00

Its been really a week for me. There's so much things for me to think of.
Problems come one by one. Im feeling really down each day but nobody knows actually what i really feel.
I dun feel like posting but to see my blog without a post is like im dead. Hee.

that's all
bye

PS: I wan you back i dunno why i cannot forget you. I did what i could but i really cant get you out of me. I wan life bck as much as i want to forget you. Will you just tell me one day that this is all a bad dream that never did happen...

2009-07-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

Im feeling really down today. Dindnt go to school yesterday cos i had rashes. Jun didnt even ask about me at all. Then I broke up with jun yesterday night. He said he doesnt love me anymore. I didnt expect that at all. Soo after a week of torture he told me why. We are bestie's now that we're not together. I dunno if i can forget him as my boyfriend but i should be able to get through this. I really love him man. I cried my whole nite yesterday when he said that now my eyes are swollen. I dunno what i can do to stop thinking bout him. I really wish that yesterday was a dream.

Sorry mufiidah i cant follow you buy your dress. I jus want to be alone at home. I dunno if i can concentrate on my work tonight but ill jus try my best.
Thats all
cya
):

PS: I really love him alot i jus cannot get him off my mind. I didnt want it to happen. You promised me once not to leave. Why now? Why cant you tell me earlier? Why do you need to torture me first?

2009-07-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Well its been a long tiring week for me.

Each day when i get bck home i must sleep if not ill be very tired. I dunno why its like that. But i tend to sleep all day long. Hee. Yesterday went to lot 1 with sdf at last i mange to make it. It was funny and we talked alot like we've never meet for 1 year. I miss being with them so much.

On thursday, had sastera and haekal awanbin keep beating me with his earpiece. It was painful sia. Jus you wait. Then had tutorial then hanged out with jun then of home.

Last night i was pranked by qi xiang. WTH! He wasted my 15 cents cos he told me that he was ms andrea lim. NVM, i settle with you at school

I had a great time at school but i feel like i have been treated like slaves to some people at school. Not only that they seem not to appreciate what i've done for them. I feel disappointed but i did not tell them cos i didn't want to hurt their feelings. I dunno why but it seems that people are keeping things from me. Why can't he jus tell the truth to me? I dun understand. I jus cant trust him anymore and keep getting curious about him when he didnt tell the truth. He said that he didnt keep anything from me but this past few days i began discover things that tells me he's hiding something from me. I wish that he would tell me cos i dun want to hear it from someone else one day. Ive been through that feeling before and i know that it jus hurts.

Well thats all

2009-06-27T01:32:00.000-07:00

Okae so its been quite a while since i use comp. But its only been like 3 days. Haha, pe je. So,thursday went to imm with diyanah to eat sushi (kicap dia sdp oi) then took pictures, we were so the noisy that this two indonesian guys keep looking at us cos we were making lots of noise and was posing taking pictures. HaHaaa, then off to lot 1. Otw to lot 1 saw junaidi with loqman walking. I was soo bloody GERAM! Cos he told me he cannot go out. Ye lah. Then i called him and he said he went buy food and everything. Hmph.... ):

Then went library with diyanah she borrowed 2 books but im the one who choose it. Macam biase la tu. Hee! Then saw junaidi's friends at library. Me n diyanah was so noisy cos i was angry that time and when im angry i laugh alot and just cannot keep quiet. Hee.

Yesterday meet junaidi but we were not talking much when we first saw each other, then we went to sit at this block. Jun sang songs that are funny and merepek i was playing game not layaning him. Hahaa. But i laughed like hell when we decided to talk to each other.

Then went to library to pay fine and this indian lady at the counter was rude la. I ask politely and she told me off so just went without saying thank you at all. Padan muke!

Today didnt go anywhere, washed my bags so its clean and white. Hee.

TIRED! Wan sleep bye.

Cya

(:

2009-06-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

Im currently trying to acces my assignment but i cant cos ive passed the dead line. Like wth cos its only like 2 days past the deadline. Yesterday went to work at night and was late cos i hanged out with junaidi. We were laughing a lot cos we've nothing to do except playing games.

On monday hanged out with him then played 'avatar' on my laptop cos we got bored. Then played this truck game and we were damn noisy cos we keep falling backwards and we were lousy on that game. If were the rider i would have been dead in less than 5 mins. Haa. Then ate long john. He finished my food like wth i really wanted to eat it lah. Bastard. Then send him at south view then talk talk then he send me to bustop. Good lah i want to send him home but he send me off. Bagus.

Slept soundly last night cos i was really tired. I reached home at 11+ then slept. Hee. Mummy was not that angry but she was no happy with me coming home late. But what to do. Ate creme' chicken before coming home. It was damn nice la. I was full and slept on the bus. Haa. Set alarm on my phne so i do not miss my bustop. Hee. What a stupid idea. When i get down the bus the guy who sat behind me was looking at me strangely. He must be thinking im crazy.

Thats all
cya
(:

2009-06-21T06:42:00.000-07:00

Miss this girl soo much. Hee. (:

Just wake up from sleep but still feeling real tired.

Had the malay dance performance at marina barrage. It was fun but we had to wait for soo long at the holding area. It was bloody hot and i was soo damn sleepy. I came to school at around 6.45am hoping that i could buy prepaid first before school so that i can mxg junaidi.But unfortunately the shop was closed then went to another shop i went to 3 shops but all were closed. I was so frustrated that i keep saying to myself ' Ehk penatnye' like crazy talking to myself. Hahaa. Met sabrina and syafiq and the dancers there. Long time never see sab. Hahaa.

So while changing, without any prepeaid and the tiredness in my body i still try to make myself hyper. Hee. The off to marina barrage. At around 3+ took the bus and stopped at supandi's block to send clothes but i didnt carry anything. Hahaa. Then off walking with kak sirin, to buy prepaid while kak siri went to buy bubble tea. Then i pass the waffle shop and felt like buying one so i did. Hee. Thn off home. Talked with junaidi otp and we were gooing fine today. He say he MAY meet me tmrw. YEAH! HOPEFULLY can.

Been in fights for quite sometime with him. SO the irritating to fight all day. BINGET! Nvm, patience ok darling. Hee.

Thats it

byes

cya

2009-06-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

OMG i jus realize that maths assignment's due date is tomorrow and i WOULD NOT be able to to do it tmrw cos im booked for the day and im fucking tired today! My body is feeling really, really tired today cos i didnt get enough sleep last night. I sleep at two listening to music. I just cant sleep. Junaidi ask me to mxg him but when i did, he sleep. GOOD LAH!

Today, went to malay dance then meet junaidi then off. We went off early cos that person wanted to berak. Sanggup cari toilet lat sheng shiong. Good thing i didnt follow or not im gonna have to wait for him. Hee. Doesnt seem very tiring but my body feels so switched off. Hmm. Have tuition today, ill confirm that i will be sleeping after my test today.

Tmrw got malay dance practice then i have to rush for work at 6.30. Thats tiring. I want eat something meaty now. The weather is super hot today cannot tahan sia. I feel like drinking water all the time. I bought a lot of packet water today from different places on my way to home, meeting junaidi and after malay dance. Ive drank like 6 packets ready and now im out of money jus becos of buying drinks.

Thats it
Cya
(:

2009-06-16T03:51:00.000-07:00

Its been long since i post again.

Ive got a job already, ive already work for like 6 days. YES! At last!

Work was fine, tiring but enjoyable. Saw this cute boy yesterday, i was working night shift and it was around 9pm. He was dancing bare-footed and walking from one end to another. He looks like a caucasian but im suprised to know that he was a malay. Cute Boy! Then at 10 get to eat at work. Hee. Sdp oi!

Went swimming with junaidi on his bdae. But i didnt swim cos junaidi gave me wrong info and he end up regretting it. I gave him a piano designed phone strap and he says its not nice then never say thank you. SOO BAD! Dun wan buy him anything anymore.

Jus now went to school to learn makeup from kak efa. Afif make up for me. NICE! Then went to coffee shop and then ntuc to pick my mum up. Ate long john. The clam chowder was soo nice.

Tmrw ill be working in the morning actually i forget what time im suppose to come. But watever la. Hee.

Last thursday went swimming with mummy, and the brothers. It was fun cos mummy bought me a blouse at cotton on, them fake eyelashes from sasa and nail polish from aries. Hee. Mcm orang kaya gitu.

Feeling real tired ryte now donno y.

Met junaidi yesterday b4 work then we go lepak. H e was having problems at home and was sharing it with me. Hee, kesian nye. But i tried solving some for him. Had fun with him.

Thats all

bye

(:

PS: Saw my tag-board and this someone ade ah said something rude about me. Like what sia. Whats the priblem with that person. I dunno if is should get a new cbox and delete this one.

2009-06-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Hey, I FINALLY meet junaidi yesterday.
But unfortunately it only for like what 2 hours, cos he had soccer at 2 but i wanted to get home at 4 cos i promised my mum im gonna accompany her go lot 1 to buy her shoes. He was upset when i said i want to go home. He actually wanted to went home with me. When i told him i want go home, he took off his boots and everything but he had this sulky face. So i had to pujok him. Then at last he agreed to stay till the game is over and i would go home by myself. Hee. Apela laki ni nk merajok.

Syafik was soo noisy yesterday. But he went off early like me la. Hahaa. Then i head home. At 730, went to lot 1. Boight, mum's shoes, nail file, and lots and lots of food at the pasar malam. Hahaa, guess im fat already.

I want look for new slippers cos mines are too old. I've been wearing it since like the beginning of last year. And is soo black. (Well it is actually black in colour)

Dunno when i can meet junaidi again.
Have malay dance tmrw and training have to be tired. Hmph.
Byes
cya
(:

2009-06-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

It have been a tiring week.
I had two days of kayak and im soo suprise that im still not tired after the kayak. Im soo active and both days. Hahaa. I was having lots pf fun. On the first day, went for training then kayak. Was sooo not tired, dunno why. Me and sabrina were making lots of noise on our way to kallang. We cant even keep quiet for 5 mins. Hahaa. But as i have guess, junaidi still failed to mit me. SEE!. I WAS SOO ANGRY WITH HIM but what can do. Hmph.

On the second day, went breakfast with diyanah, the two nabila's, sabrina , hafiz and haiekal. But we separated into two groups cos the nabila's wanted to eat mac's while me, hafiz, diyanah , haiekal and sabrina went to kfc. Sabrina was the last to arrive eventhough she was the one who ogarnise it. Hahaa. Biasalah sab. But still, junaidi cant mit me. So sad. Hmph. But when i saw him at kallang, i was soo happy and smiled at him. Hee.

Here are the pictures

Love this picture lots. Cos got sdf. Hee.(:

Theres lot more pictures but im lazy to upload. Hee. Maybe next time.

2009-06-03T01:08:00.000-07:00

Im soo frustrated today. Been fightin with junaidi the whole day. As usual he cant go out to meet. And i understand him. I said that i wasnt angry but he keep tellin me not to lie. But im not gonna make him feel bad that i am really angry at him. Not angry but disappointed. It seems as if he doesnt believe/trust me at all. Im trying to make him feel good but we end up fighting. Was it my fault? Yeah, i apologised to him jus to not make the situation worst. But does he know what im feeling inside? Urgh!

Today had malay dance but it was cancelled at the last minute. Thats when i called junaidi and we start fighting. Im at hime now feelin tired(dunno why dun even ask). Im gona have a tiring day tmrw cos ive got training and kayaking. But junaidi says that he is gonna wait for me. Lets see if he really would wait for me. Hmm....

Feeling hungry now. Nothing to eat. I want to watch movie with sdf but i dun have the money. I only have $0.70. Is that enough? And jun keep asking me to eat when ive told him thousand times that ive no money. Degil betol.

Well thats it then
cya
(: